Well, it was better than the Aaliyah movie…and maybe that’s cuz they ain’t let Wendy Williams nowhere near it.  The casting was pretty much spot on, though I ain’t particularly care for the actress who played Toni.  I thought she was too meek and mild – not enough swag or thickness to her.  But once she cut her hair, I was like “I guess” and let her make it.

I tell you another one Lifetime “tried it with” on the casting – Towanda Braxton.  Those two Pocahontas braids they put on that lady weren’t fooling nobody.  I bet Towanda was mad as hayle.  Oh, and the “Pebbles” casting was off as well.  I liked the one from the TLC movie better.  Y’all know the real Pebbles was watchin’ that movie and taking notes so she can file her lawsuit Monday and have her attorney send a cease and desist letter.  They need to start leaving her character outta these movies.  They gon’ learn.

I loved Debbi Morgan as Miss Evelyn.  She earned erry bit of her check in that movie especially when she threw errythane but the kitchen sink at the door her husband was hidin’ behind.  I was waitin’ for her to break that door down and start beating him up like Katherine Jackson did in that Jackson 5 movie.  And then when she snatched they picha off the wall and threw it on the floor and stomped it?  Bay Bay it was just like when Bernadine lit her cigarette and then set her husband car on fiyah in Waiting To Exhale.

Not really much I can say about the movie, because honestly, we already knew Toni’s story.  I’m glad she got to clear her name around that first bankruptcy, cuz I remember them talking about her extravagant spending in the press.  And when she mentioned that Gucci silverware, I found myself wonderin’ if food taste betta on it, cuz y’all know I’m over here eating with plastic sporks.  LA and Babyface oughta be shame for how they did their artists.  Blindin’ ’em with cars and checks that they needed to pay back.  They know good and damn well they ain’t have no business letting Toni buy boobs out of her artist budget like that.  And then gave that girl a check for a hundred dollars.  Well it was $1900 but still.  Bay Bay – them people repo’d errythane Toni had and even took her Gucci silverware, all her Grammys, and a few pairs of her drawls.  That house was so damn bare when them creditors left.

And then she filed a lawsuit against her record company (including LaFace nem) and won. Babyface (Jeffrey from The Haves and Havenots..spot on casting) had her back but she couldn’t talk about the settlement for 10 years.  20 million dollars?  Sheeit…I wouldna told NOBODY not even Miss Evelyn.  The gag order has been lifted, and that’s why she speaking out with this movie.  She got with Keri Lewis (the actor cast as him looked just like that man)…and got knocked up right after that long bedroom scene in the movie.  She had an abortion cuz Babyface nem had her sign something saying she could dry grind as long as she ain’t get pregnant behind it.  Or maybe it was the acne cream company.  They was controlling errythane about that girl!  She got married…and had her two kids.  One was diagnosed with autism, and the movie touched on that bringing awareness on a national stage.

She did a residency at Flamingo (bringing her sister along cuz her mama told her never forget them like Tina Turner mama told her in that movie – “never forget my blood”) but collapsed on stage, and had to stop performing because of her rare heart condition.  A technicality in her insurance coverage left her exposed to the concert promoters and creditors again, so she had to file bankruptcy a second time.  I know that bankruptcy judge and them court people got tired of Toni Braxton.  She came out on top…again…and did Dancing With The Stars and that reality show with her sisters, helping Tamar become a break-out star, and she picked up yet another Grammy in 2015 for her collaboration with Babyface.  She is also a Lupus survivor.

All in all a solid movie, even if we knew pretty much errythane that happened already.  And Miss Toni herself made a cameo in the movie at the end, which was EVERYTHING.  Yes, I’mma  fan.  Now if Lifetime had just not followed it up by re-airing Whitney Houston’s Beyond The Headlines.  And I had JUST forgiven them, finally, for the Aaliyah movie.

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Yeah, I didn’t know what else to call it.  I just want to do a brief post on the presidential election and such to let y’all know that I ain’t always about shade.  Though I’m sure some shade will find it’s way into this blog post.

First let’s talk about Donald Trump.  Can you really believe he is a SERIOUS candidate?  If somebody hadda told me that Trump would go from Celebrity Apprentice host to front runner in the presidential election 2 years ago, I woulda called them a bold-faceded LIE. Then I woulda proceeded to tell them why Trump would not make sense.

First, ain’t nobody in they right mind gon’ support that fool in a serious bid for the White House.  Second, the American people like their presidents to be somewhat attractive (no different from most people).  In other words, if you got a bad toupee with a combover and yo’ brows are bushy and the same color as your bright orange fo’head, you prolly ain’t got a chance in hayle of getting to them people’s White House.  Third, Donald Trump RICH.  Like stanky, super, filthy rich.  We don’t like REALLY rich people as President.  We like to think we can make a donation and at least get to take a photo with the President if not influence legislation.  Fourth, that thane on TV firin’ foke for stupid stuff.  Who wants that kinda flighty behavior in the Oval Office.  All we need is for his ol’ shaky, trembly handed arse to get shifty with that red button and then BAM….bombs have been dropped for no apparent reason.  So I’m just gonna say that Trump is secretly working for the Democratic party cuz ain’t no way in hayle he is supposed to be a serious contender.

I would talk about the other candidates here but they are really not that important for me to use my words on.  Chris Christie done had that gastric bypass, but still built up bad.  Got a FUPA and ain’t s’pose to have one.  “They” say Ted Cruz 45 but that thane look 65 and supposed to be Hispanic but wants to ship Hispanic people outta the U.S.  Plus was he even BORN in America?  Foke saw President O’s birth certificate and swear he was born in Kenya.  SMH.  That Carly lady’s face doesn’t move when she’s at those debates.  Her happy, mad, concerned, passionate, and sad face all look the same.  Next.  Ben Carson.  Well you know if Republicans are supporting a black candidate, there has to be SOMETHING wrong with him.  Oh, and errybody in Jeb Bush’s family been in the White House, but he cain’t even get as close as me.  And sadly, he would probably be better than Dubya, but we still got a bad taste in our mouth behind his brother.  Plus, his glasses are kinda big. He might wanna get contacts.  I don’t trust foke with REALLY BIG glasses.

And that brings me to the Democrats.  I will say this.  I sooooo wanted Hillary to get the nom and win the White House.  I feel like she deserves it after a relative unknown newbie came outta nowhere, from organizing the community, and stole her life and the next 8 years.  LOL.  Seriously, do y’all remember how she looked upside President O’s head during those debates.  Like she couldn’t believe that sheeit.  She had spent all those years grooming herself and being groomed…had stuck it out with Bill Clinton’s cheating ways…and even got her hair cut in a cute style and changed her look…started wearing cropped jackets and kitten heels instead of flats….and y’all went out there and voted for President O.  And now, it’s like the same thing is happening with Bernie.  I’m starting to feel that the Democrats want anybody that’s not her.  I could probably run and sit next to her on the debate stage.

Now y’all know who NEEDS to run?  Seeing as we need another Democrat to keep the gains we’ve made…AND a woman.  Michelle Obama.  Or Oprah.  Oprah moreso than Michelle.  White people ain’t scared of Oprah.  Matta fact, they love her especially white women. Plus Oprah got a better chance right now than Hillary.  I think the Dems still love you Hillary…they just don’t wanna vote for you.  Nor email you.

Follow Me on Twitter @staylorclark cuz all yo’ friends do

 

 

 

Now folks that know me KNOW I was not feelin’ what happened with Kenya’s mama last night on RHOA!  I knew when she said last week that she was goin’ to that lady house and knocking on the door, it was not going to end well.

For those of you that are not watching, Kenya Moore (the former Miss USA) was raised by her dad’s side of the family.  More specifically, her paternal grandmother.  Kenya’s parents were teens when they had Kenya, and Kenya’s mama wanted to put her up for adoption.  Kenya’s grandma BEGGED Kenya’s mama to let her raise Kenya, and when she was 3 days old, Kenya’s mama (Patricia) handed her over.

Since this time, Kenya’s mama has refused to even SEE her.  Can you imagine what that is like?  Your mama, the one who carried you for 9 months, did not want your Black arse and went on with life like you didn’t exist.  Now, I am willing to give Miss Patricia a pass, cuz she was like 14/15….a kid herself.  A baby really who had no bidness out there dry grindin’.  However, after she got grown and established, she should have at least wanted to SEE her child.  Just out of sheer curiosity.  I’m talmbout that lady has never had a conversation with Kenya.  They say that errytime they would try to go to that lady house with Kenya, she would close all her blinds and bolt all her doors and act like she wasn’t there.  Said that lady treated them like they were Jehovah’s Witnesses comin’ on a Saturday morning.

So after 45+ years, Kenya thought she could go to that lady house (with a busload of people that included her friend Brandon & her daddy), with the Bravo cameras not far behind, knock on the door and be invited in for tea and crumpets.  I knew Miss Patricia wasn’t havin’ it, and I think that Kenya tried to force the issue which made Miss Patricia’s older sister (Kenya’s Aunt Lori who HAS been in Kenya’s life – now that is some strange sheeit.  Your sister claims your child but you don’t.) upset too.

Kenya’s mama ain’t open up that door..matta fact, Kenya heard her say ‘don’t answer that door’ and bolt all the locks.  SMH.  Just sad.  I feel bad for Kenya.  Because I know EXACTLY how she feels.  That tough exterior with all the shade-throwin’ and funny jokes is just a cover for feelings of inadequacy because her mother didn’t want her.  Sheeit..I could sit down with Kenya and have a LONG conversation about that.  Kenya won a crown y’all.  A CROWN…with all of America adorin’ her…idolizin’ her…little girls wanting to be her…men wanting to wife her….a sex symbol…with a beautiful face and long flowing hair….a great body…intelligence….and still it all boils down to a little girl longing for her mother’s love.

Here’s hoping that Kenya can find peace.  That she knows whatever happened with Miss Patricia is Miss Patricia’s cross to bear.  She may NEVER accept Kenya or want to see her.  But that has NOTHING to do with Kenya.  Kenya may have gone through life feelin’ less than, but she needs to understand that she is, in fact, GOOD ENOUGH.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

Ain’t blogged in FOREVER.  All kinds of stuff been going on too.  I guess I got really busy with the holidays and just life in general.  Y’all know I got a kindergartner and I’m old…plus I cain’t really do multiple things at one time.  And y’all know I’m an aspirin’ “authoress”, part-time comedienne, social media “mogul”, non-profit owner, entrepreneur and so many other things.

As far as shows go, Empire is on break (hope they take this time to work on the storylines – you ain’t got to put errythane you even think about into an hour-long episode); Scandal is on break (damn, and I cain’t een remember what happen on the last episode – Shonda Rhimes be wrong as hayle for leavin’ us hangin’ for months); and Mary Jane gone off too.

I’m now watching Love and Hip Hop cuz I ain’t got much else to watch but that Peter/Amina/Tara love triangle is so TIYAD.  Amina went from side chick to wife…demotin’ Tara from “wifey” to side chick.  The season opened with Tara dry grindin’ with Peter on a mattress on the flo’ of her apartment.  The same building where Amina and Peter live.  You guessed it  – Peter gets to go from one apt to the the other whenever the fancy hits him and he wants to switch it up.  Sheeit..they should all just move in with each other and have threesomes and one rent payment.  They sharing bodily fluids anyway.

The other week, the women confronted Peter, who was still actin’ douchey….Amina slapped him when she found out he’d said she was a mistake that went too far, and announced she was pregnant on her way out.  Now Tara ain’t say nothin’, but her stomach was for damn sho’ lookin’ round too.

Tonight, Amina told Peter’s grown daughter (Peter got bout 20 kids and don’t pay child support for NONE of ’em) she’d had an abortion.  Oh yeah, she told the world (everybody watching) that too.  Peter will prolly be relieved.  That’s one less kid on the chile suppote rolls at the state.  I’m pretty sure next week Tara is going to tell him SHE pregnant.  Just nasty.

I’m also into Teen Mom (yeah, I don’t like to talk about it much) and pretty much hate Farrah.  She is an AWFUL human being.  She is sooo damn annoying…and whiny..and mean to her momma and errybody.  Last week, her daughter Sophia spanked her arm.  I would usually cringe at a kid hittin’ they mama and involuntarily I might swang on them, but Farrah needed them taps.  She wants to be back with her ex (Simon) but she is sooo whiny, he has decided her stuff ain’t that good for him to be hangin’ around.  She bought his arse some new Louboutins, and he walked right outta her life in ’em.

I’m also feelin’ Fatal Attraction on TVOne.  True stories of “fatal attraction” where somebody usually ends up dead behind unrequited love.  Bay Bay – some of the stories are sooo over the top, you would think they couldn’t be true.  Like the one where the new boyfriend made a pipe bomb, wrapped it like a VCR tape, and put it in a gift-wrapped box and sent it to the husband.  The husband took it to the police who sent him home with it.  The boyfriend started calling him telling him to open the box, taunting him.  The husband thought the tape contained a sex tape of the boyfriend and his wife.  7 days after receiving the box, he finally opened it while a guy friend was visiting.  He lost both his legs, an arm, and HIS life in the ensuing blast.  They found the boyfriend in CA I think…where he had gotten plastic surgery to change his face.  He’d found yet ANOTHER woman to finance that foolishness.  He musta had some good good.  Cuz ain’t no way.  They both in jail for life.

I’m bout to run out of words, so I’m gonna come back and do another posting on RHOA.  Just got caught up on yesterday’s episode and wanna clap back about it.  Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark cuz when I blow up you gon’ wish you had.

 

 

I tried to come up with a cute, funny title and realized “just wow” is pretty much all I got.  I remember when I watched the very first episode of Being Mary Jane.  I sorta didn’t know what to think…thought it was a lot…thought it was doing too much.  Well, I’m glad I hung the hayle on cuz BMJ is the BIDNESS.  Yas SIR!

Tonight’s episode was written superbly..and the acting was even better.  There was more than one storyline but it didn’t make the finale too busy.  BMJ got errythane right tonight.

BMJ was still disappointin’ the ancestors by layin’ up with that lil white man, but he fine, so I ain’t mind.  David’s mama (Meredith Baxter Birney!  Love her!) came by cab to MJ’s house to try to get her to get back with David.  Even tho’ that man got a wife AND a baby.  In other words, askin’ MJ to sell herself real short by stayin’ the side chick. MJ was like hayle naw….and pretty much told her to get the hayle outta her house.  I was glad.  I don’t like how errybody feel like they can just show up to MJ house talkin’ all reckless and actin’ familiar.  She need to get a pit bull guard dog.

After that lil fine white man rapped off beat at karaoke, MJ realized they weren’t gon’ make it.  She wants Black love and he cain’t give her that.  I think them people at TalkBack had somethin’ to do with the break-up too cuz they wanted to make her “something new” a show topic.  You know when they bring in the cameras on yo’ stuff, it ain’t gon’ be right.

MJ went down to CeCe’s bookstore and gave a talk and signed some books and whatnots.  She told CeCe they should make their story (car accident and extortion plot) into a book.  You know CeCe is all for anythane that gon’ grease them ol’ dry palms she got, so she was def on board.

Kara got in trouble with HR behind Marisol and got blackmailed for talkin’ reckless.  You know these Millenials don’t care nothin’ bout titles and hierarchies at work.  They ain’t tryna work no overtime or pay no dues.  Kara went ahead and made Marisol the anchor for her new show, and still got HR called on her.  Barbara from HR showed up right to Kara’s office, and you know it ain’t neva good when Barbara show up at your place of bidness or call yo’ phone.  Ask Shirley from that old blues song.

That one intern MJ done hired ready to do some good stories bout the Black Lives Matter movement, but as a favor to her boss, MJ had to go back to the fluff pieces.  The intern called her out and was still allowed to keep her job and leave early.  These millenials are sooo entitled.

Niecy is still working at that job (I just knew she’d be fired by now after givin’ them hook-ups) and her daddy or her uncle was bout to buy her a car.  And yes they all still up in they daddy/granddaddy house after Shaft pretty much told they arses to get the hayle out last week.

CeCe bought her a new pair of tennises with MJ’s money so she could be fly for the business meeting to pitch their book.  That thane kept runnin’ her mouth to them PR foke at the meeting MJ had set up.  But what CeCe ain’t know was that them foke she was talking to were undercover five O and they recorded errythane she said and arrested her for extortion. Bay Bay…she cussed MJ high and low…told her she (CeCe) was the only-est friend MJ got and how she killed her other friend.  MJ told her that was why her arse was headed to them people’s jail cuz she takes it too far.  Just like the extortion..wanting mo’ and mo money.

They put them cuffs on CeCe and because game recognize game, CeCe made them tip her hat to MJ.  They also shoulda run a comb through that hair while her hat was off (she had a serious case of hat hair) but they didn’t.  Bye Ce-cisha!

And in the final scene, Mara Brock Akil nem laid me low and snatched all my edges.  Niecy got a new car and was driving her kids home with her music playing loud.  She got pulled over by a cop who snatched her up outta the car for talkin’ back and then tazed by the same cop.  She was layin’ on the ground, being roughed up by the cops while her Black babies looked on.  RIP in Sandra Bland, and thank you Mara Akil Brock for this vehicle, Gabrielle Union for successfully leading such a talented cast, and Raven Goodwin for becoming Sandra Bland and all the other nameless people who have been hurt or killed by those who swore to protect them.

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Yes, that’s what I’m calling tonight’s episode because there was so many truths.  It started with that tender moment when MJ was tryna protect her niece.  MJ is always saving her family, so tonight was no exception.  The family wants Patrick to get his act together, and as a recovering addict, to get off them prescription drugs.  In the meantime, they are keeping his daughter away from him to shield her from the situation.  But kids are smart, especially nowadays with access to the Innanets and social media, so of course, that baby asked if her daddy was back on drugs.  MJ, again trying to protect that baby’s innocence, told her no.

We also got to see firsthand what happens when parents don’t let their kids grow up.  This is such a relevant topic because in my day, as a woman of a particular age, kids left home when they turned 18 and for the most part never looked back because their parents told their asses not to.  In other words, don’t even THINK about coming back home.  We had to hit it and sink or swim.  Well I think we felt bad about that and must have vowed to let our kids stay home and lay up on us as long as they want to because nowadays, it is pretty common for kids to graduate college and return home to Mom and Dad.  When Mom and Dad should be enjoying retirement or life as empty-nesters.  Tonight’s episode was all about how Mom and Dad were forever providing that safety net and covering for their kids fugg-ups and whantnots, and as a result, their kids had drained them dry and were still hanging around with their hands out.  And largely ungrateful.

Shaft apologized to MJ’s mama…saying they should have sold the house and traveled more…let their kids figure sheeit out.  And Niecy and the other son were ear hustling on the other side of the bedroom door.  They seemed to feel bad, but I notice nobody left either.  SMH.

Tonight’s episode also shows something you rarely see portrayed in the media – a Black father going through hell and high water to get to his child.  I damn near cried cuz it made ME miss something I never had.  Blessedly, my husband is a great father to our little girl, and hopefully, she will never have to yearn for his love.  Not only did I yearn for a daddy’s love…but I yearned to know his identity when I was growing up.  But this ain’t about me, and to hear more about that, you gotta get my book.

MJ is revamping Talk Back, and got her a think tank with erry race/gender/age group represented – she got her a black girl, an Asian man, a Black man, a white male producer…mostly younger so they can reach the youth.  She ain’t have nobody old tho’ and that’s where CeCe comes in. Y’all know that thane always showin’ up at MJ’s house or job.  I thought after MJ made that last payment, CeCe would move around and gon’ bout her bidness.  But I think CeCe knows GOD is still in the blessing bidness, and MJ’s income is CeCe’s blessing, so in the words of Celie’s sister (The Color Purple), nothin’ can keep her (CeCe) from it.  That thane even spoke some ol’ nasty sexual innuendo stuff to MJ, talmbout when she get on her knees it ain’t always for praying.  Just nasty for no good reason.

Next week is the season finale…and I don’t know what I’m gon’ do without my friend in my head (Mary Jane).  This show is really well-written, isn’t afraid to tackle current issues, and has a stellar lead actress in Gabrielle Union (not just saying this cuz she retweets me on the regular either) and cast in place.  Next week, Mara Brock Akil nem address the issue of #BlackLivesMatter in the same vein of Sandra Bland.  It’s going to be heavy…I might need some wine.

And here was yet another episode without Mark.  I mean he ain’t called, sent a text nor an email.  I don’t even think he has updated his Facebook status or logged into his Instagram.  My guess is Mark might be gon’ on home to glo-ray.

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So if you think RHOA fell off when Lanethia (NeNe) Leakes left or that the drama has simmered down, you might be just a lil bit wrong.  Yesterday was the continuation of the 3 hour tour that Kenya “Gilligan” Moore put together for the ladies.  In the first installment, Cynthia and Porsha brought “friends” to the gathering.  Now most of the time when you bring a “plus one” to an invitation only event, the plus ones know to hang in the back, not make eye contact, and just lay low.  Not in this case.  You had one tryna get on with Kandi and the other one comin’ for Kenya.  Atypical fallback behavior.

Now what you NOT gon’ do is get on a boat that Kenya done chartered and come for her, lest you end up walkin’ the plank and tossed overboard.  Kenya decided she had enough of that lady that nobody else knew (Porsha’s friend Shemea) and summoned the ship’s captain to take her back to the shore.  Somewhere in the mist of all that, Porsha was tryna defend her friend and said “whateva bee” to Cynthia.  Cynthia, who is still mad at Peter for grazing that lady’s titties in that bar he got in Charlotte, went off on Porsha who then told Cynthia she betta chill cuz she ain’t want her (Porsha) to get up.  I thought it had been squashed cuz Cynthia walked off.

With emotions runnin’ high and all that oil in errybody, Porsha went over to talk to Cynthia.  That was ill-advised but ain’t none of them housewives or randoms try to stop her.  I thought they were going to handle that situation like two adults and then remembered this is RHOA and foke don’t neva handle situations like that.  It escalated rather quickly and ‘fo I knowed it, they were both wavin’ they fangahs in others faces.  Cynthia told Porsha she might be dumb, but she ain’t that dumb…and Porsha told Cynthia she was fake as eff.  And then I believe Cynthia told Porsha to get her hand out of her face, pushed her hand, Porsha stood up ova Cynthia and promptly got a push kick to the pelvis.  I’m talmbout Cynthia put that size 13 embellished flat right in betwixt Porsha’s legs and gave it the ol’ heave ho.  Thank GOD Cynthia wasn’t wearin’ heels cuz Porsha would be sterile with a puncture wound to her uterus right now.  Chile, I ain’t neva seen two women get that crunk and turned up that quickly ova nothing!  I still don’t know what they were fightin’ about.

At this point, I could recap the rest of the show, but I don’t want to increase my word count unnecessarily.  There was a lot of discussion among the women about what happened and who was at fault.  Porsha showed her wounds (I believe most came from the Bravo security man who grabbed her and threw her down on a chair and got on top of her like Mistah fin to do his bidness on top of Celie).  At the end, the other ladies brought the two women together and they made up.  Until the next fight.

I just want to say to the two white people that might read this blog – what those women did is not indicative of my race as a whole.  We don’t just jump on each other for nothin’…and most of us are capable of using our words.  Porsha might have an anger management problem cuz that thane will fight anybody (see Kenya two seasons ago) and Cynthia…well I want to give her some slack cuz her husband out there bad in them streets.  I just don’t want y’all to think that erry black woman is loud, ghetto, and ready to act a fool on water or dry land.  Now we might cuss you out or make you feel beat the hayle up, but we ain’t hardly grown women out here fightin’.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark cuz I’m fun.

 

Because Bay Bay….even tho’ she sprung off that lil white man, she made that thane take all kinds of tests (spelling, blood, driving, vision, hearing, etc.) before she let him dry grind with her with they clothes off!  I’m talmbout she drew blood, inserted an IV, swabbed his mouth, and gave him a PET Scan!  And that is why I cut for Mary Jane.  Even tho’ she ain’t shame to get it in no matter if it’s cuddy buddy or “something new”, she is about protecting hers, safe sex and all of that.  And this on World Aids Day!  I love how the show deals with relevant topics that are current and doesn’t shy away from controversy.

Even when she talked about stereotypical stuff as it related to knowin’ that lil white man carnally.  “It’s Pink” will never again hold the same meaning for me that it used to.  And I love the color pink, but I digress.

CeCe was back tonight…and MJ gave her the final extortion payment. You could tell CeCe been in the game for a while because she was able to tell how many bills was in that envelope just by weighing it in her hand.  Just when you thought you wouldn’t see her no mo’, she had scaled MJ’s fence again and was back peerin’ through her windows and waitin’ to give MJ some unsolicited advice.  And yes she knew MJ had let her ancestors down by getting it in with that man. Imma need MJ to get rid of some of them windows, buy some curtains or some blinds or something.

CeCe let MJ know it was okay to keep working at them people’s station, because MJ was feelin’ some kinda way.  She had gone to speak at an HBCU (shoulda gone to speak at a white school cuz y’all know Black foke be hard on perceived sell-outs) and they roasted her after she told them she had “bought in”.  I know how MJ felt when she was all conflicted bout what to do.  Been there and didn’t wanna be there but.. oh LAWD.. the coins!  The coins were too good!  And then I had a baby, and all that stuff ain’t matter no’ mo.  Just like Kara, I wanna do my work, go home, cash my check and spend time with my family.

MJ’s brother (Patrick) is taking prescription pills and his recoverin’ addict baby mama was able to figga it out pretty quickly.  She took the bus to MJ’s job and promptly got roasted over the coals.  If I was her, I’da flipped over MJ’s desk or rustled some of her papers up or something cuz MJ ain’t have to be that cold to that lady.  She is pert near MJ’s sister-in-law.

She actually did get through to MJ though and MJ staged a surprise intervention (errybody was there ‘ceptin’ CeCe cuz she had to close up the booksto’ and Niecy cuz she was with her kids) and Shaft and Shug Avery let Patrick have it.  It was just like a scene outta Jungle Fever with Patrick as Gator ‘ceptin’ Patrick ain’t smoked up nobody’s tv.

Next week is the season finale.  MJ’s parents have taken Patrick’s daughter with Patrick vowin’ to go to hayle and back to have her with him.  Not sure where this is going…or where Mark is (still in them people’s warzone), but best believe I will be watching….

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So tonight was MJ’s birthday, and Bay Bay, she did it up.  I’m lucky to get free Benihana and somethin’ from Charming Charlie’s or Ross for my birthday, and MJ done bought herself a Birkin bag and a Tesla.  Clearly, I’m doing something wrong and ain’t aimin’ high enough.  While I was happy for MJ, I did wonder if she was gon’ be able to continue making extortion payments to CC cuz she ain’t hardly through with ’em.

Y’all know MJ likes to get it in, but surprisingly, she ain’t have birthday sex.  That was kinda shockin’ to me, cuz lately, between that lil white man at the club and cuddy buddy, she ain’t gave her Hello Kitty time to breathe.  She damn near put Cuddy Buddy into cardiac arrest last week…he was strokin’ out and foamin’ at the mouth and such.  Was surprised I ain’t see him this week, but maybe he still in rehab behind last week’s sessions.

Mark is still on his way out to Kosovo or one of those foreign countries where they killin’ foke.  I got a bad feelin’ bout that.  Like something bad is gonna happen to him.  Maybe it was all that sad soundtrack music and that it took him a long time to say goodbye to errybody.  I feel like warnin’ him a la “Molly, you in danger, Girl”.

Niecy bout to get fiyah’d and she just got that job.  She already promisin’ foke discounts and hook-ups and ain’t been in them people’s employ but a week.  I was happy to see her spend some of her first paycheck on a few nice things.  Of course, MJ was hatin’ on her.  I know MJ is making way mo’ in coins and went to college and such, so she shoulda let Niecy have them lil bags she had.

MJ’s family did not remember her birthday, so she was upset bout that.  She actually rushed ova to her mama’s house thinkin’ they were gonna throw her a surprise birthday party, and got surprised.  I liked the throwback to The Color Purple (errybody knows I love ALL THINGS Color Purple) when MJ was givin’ her mama a bath.  I swear that lady don’t like to loofah herself up.  I’m sure that bathwater had a lil Shug Avery pee in it.

And then MJ shared a “shocker”.  I say that, but I wasn’t hardly shocked.  She was upset that her daddy took up for Niecy behind them lil shoppin’ bags she had and said she could have done the same thing…lived recklessly, made mistakes, etc. so her parents could clean up her mess just like they were doing with Niecy and MJ’s brother.  That she coulda had kids and instead of rushin’ ova to get disappointed behind her missing surprise party, she coulda been blowin’ out candles with her 11 year old.  Because she had had an abortion.  Lawd…all my black tv heroines is having abortions.  First Liv..then MJ…next it’s gon’ be Cookie or ol’ girl from Blackish.  I cain’t hardly take it.

But like I said, I was NOT surprised.  Y’all remember last week’s “hoe” conversation (that was some realness for your hindparts, by the way).  And anybody that dry grind and love to …er..um..please her man like MJ bound to have a few skeletons in the closet.  Lit’rally.

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Cynthia made Peter cry tonight, Y’all.  I felt like 1/16th of compassion for his ol’ arse for bout 15 seconds…and then I remember how he was all up on that woman at that sports bar with his hands round her neck and grazin’ her chest and rolled my eyes.  He deserved what he got from Cynthia tonight because he took her for granted.  All out there in them people’s public eye gallavantin’ and canoodlin’ when errybody and they grandmama got a cellphone with a camera and video capabilities.  In the words of that ol’ sage, Fred Sanford, Big Dummy! Still I don’t want them to break up because I feel like they really love each other.  She was down with Peter when erry business he undertook had roots on it and failed.  There’s something to be said for that.

Plus Leon (LAWD..that thane still fine!) told her to stay and fight for her marriage.  Of course, that was after he told errybody that she ain’t neva been able to keep a man.  Or be kept I guess.  I don’t know how she let that fine arse Leon go.  Good to see they can be friends, cuz Bay Bay, I act like all my ex-boyfriends are deceased, cuz they arses is dead to me.  But that’s probably because unlike Leon, I’m an ol’ petty beetch.

Phaedra took Porsha to get a colonic on national tv.  I didn’t really care to see all that honestly.  They could have turned off the camera, gone in and talked about it later in the confessional.  Plus, Porsha was on that table a long damn time.  I guess when you got real big booty, it takes longer to clean it all out.  I ain’t bragging, but I would prolly be there a long time too.

I am really tired of hearin’ bout that ol’ motorbike that Apollo got in Kandi nem garage.  They need to either sell it (so they can use the proceeds to pay Todd), give it to Phaedra (so she can sell it and pay her kids’ tuition) or give it to the government since they suin’ Apollo for reparations.  I’m thinking since they said on national tv that he got assets in they garage, they won’t have to worry bout it much longer.  You know he owe errybody millions of dollars in restitution so agents will be snatchin’ that bike in short order.

Kenya had a kick off party for her natural hair care line, and that thane musta been hotter than fish grease cuz errybody was fannin’.  And when that many people fannin’ in they good clothes at your event, it cain’t be good.  How is she even s’pose to twirl among the city’s elite when her clothes are sticking to her.  I don’t like the shade they threw at Kenya though because it wasn’t her fault that venue forgot to turn on the air.  The only person that was justified in saying something was Kandi because all that heat coulda sent her into early labor.  Glad she got outta there.

Got to see Kim Fields out with the ladies tonight.  I hope they don’t turn up on her too much but I feel like it’s coming.  I am also still praying over her marriage because Andy and Bravo nem be the death of relationships.  Ask Peter Thomas.

Oh, and Kenya threw some funny shade tonight at Sheree talmbout havin’ that lady a rent party like they did on Good Times.  I tweeted that I ain’t wanna see it if they ain’t have Michael Evans sangin’ “When Your Young…And In Love”and got retweeted.  Then I couldn’t get that song outta my head.  Because y’all know Michael Evans was FOREVER sangin’.  I always wondered why he didn’t just go sing at Sears or something and use that to help get his family outta the ghetto.  I was never REALLY sold on him becoming an attorney anyway.

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