Get a Life & Stop Coming for Gabby Douglas!

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Now y’all know SoShaydee will provide snarky commentary and “shayde” folks but it’s almost always done in fun, love and admiration. I draw the line at bullying people. I also draw the line at old people (they my people), kids (chile I got one…even though I’m still amazed that it actually happened even though I sho’ was doin’ thangs to get one), and special needs people (the most courageous people EVER). I am really sitting here shaking my head at all these “Innanet” thugs coming for Gabby Douglas. It’s not fair and it’s downright mean as hayle.

In 2012, that girl won GOLD at the Olympics and foke were worried about her hair, when some of the main ones talkin’ ain’t got edges. Temples just barren and ain’t had hair sprout since the early 90s. Then she won team gold, and y’all sayin’ she didn’t put her hand over her heart when they played the National Anthem. That baby stood there at attention, giving respect, after putting on a team performance that won the gold and bragging rights for her country, and once again, y’all have proclaimed her to be worse than rye bread on a ham sandwich. Then, y’all said she was sittin’ in the stands lookin’ mean and salty when her teammates were performing individually. Have any of you actually been ATHLETES performing at the highest level, let alone at the Olympics? It is stressful just getting there to represent your country and it is even more stressful performing. She was in the ZONE…likely upset at herself and over-critiquing her own performance. Her teammates said she helped them get ready and was asking them if they needed anything as they got ready to do their routines.

Gabby powered through her floor performance to the end even after she didn’t do what SHE came to do. And then she stared at her phone and CRIED, wondering what she did to all these people who hate her just because she dares to be GREAT. Because that’s what it’s all about. You can’t be too confident, too great, too bold, too awesome, too amazing….especially when you are a Black woman because the powers that be will surely try to bring you down a peg or seven. Comb your nappy head…you angry…you got an attitude. You know all the stuff they say about Black women that “boss” up.

I know it’s easier said than done…to let comments roll off your back, but Gabby, Baby, you are winner. A CHAMPION on a WORLD STAGE. I swear you don’t need to put stock in somebody in Idaho typin’ mean things on an internet and livin’ out of their mama’s basement. Hold your head up high, and “backflip on your haters.” In the words of that old sage Beyonce…the best revenge is your “GOLD” Girl!

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark and Facebook @ soshaydee….

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Hillary You Gotta Knock That Thane Outta The Park!

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Psssst…Hillary. Hey Girl. I need you to get closer to this screen so you can hear errythane I’m bout to say. Your husband delivered your game ball….Joe Biden put the ball into play…and President Obama pitched or passed the ball to you with that rousing speech tonight. It is up to you to come to that mic tomorrow night and knock that thane out the park OR slam dunk it (whichever sports analogy you choose).

Now I realize you are a bit of an introvert. You come off as buttoned-up (might be those high collars and necklines on them tea length jackets/blazers you be wearing and those sensible shoes you be tippin’ round in), a bit mechanical and ice queenish. Tomorrow night is not the place for all of that. Be you but deliver the speech of your LIFETIME.

You been working for the people for 40 years to shatter that glass ceiling on political leadership…well now you standing on a ladder (and the shoulders of those who have come before and made cracks) with sledgehammer in hand. This is the moment you have waited for your entire life. If you can do the damn thane Thursday night, you will be back in them people’s White House like you never left, ‘ceptin’ this time, Bill will be picking out the china, carrying YOUR purse  and going to the store buying YOUR personal items and unmentionables.

Now you gon’ need some bomb arse theme music but don’t pick Alicia Keys again cuz she don’t wear makeup and we need all the extra lip gloss and blush we can get tomorrow. Errythane is on the table for your speech ‘cept cussing and the N word. I KNOW you can do this.  Just like T.I., we’ll be jus watchin’..and waitin….. #ImwithHer #ButLawdImGonMissThem #DNC #DemsInPhilly #DNCinPHIL #hillaryclinton

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark and like my page on Facebook (SoShaydee) hey-you-can-do-it

 

Black Lives Matter – Maybe If We Keep Talking About It…Everybody Will Get It

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Black Lives Matter is not a racist movement.  Black Lives Matter is not instructing people to kill police officers.  Black Lives Matter is simply that – a movement to let the majority know that a Black life is worth something.  That we are mothers and fathers….sons and daughters….that we mean something and matter to somebody.  And that should matter to everybody.

Tonight, I was driving home from a Komen Dallas Race Committee meeting.  I’d picked my daughter up from the after-hours childcare facility that was close to where the meeting had been convened.  We went next door to Paciugo’s for gelato.  McK (my daughter) got a wild berries and chocolate sorbet mix; I had the Turtle cheesecake and salted caramel.  Just like most 6 year-olds, her face got really messy.  It was both endearing and bothersome because I didn’t have any more napkins.  After finding a napkin in my purse, and cleaning her up we were on our way.  It was 9 p.m.–way past her bedtime, so I wasn’t surprised when she quickly fell asleep after we headed home.  I was thinking ‘it must be nice to have someone else drive so you can fall asleep’.

Soon, I was on George Bush Tollway when I noticed a police officer pull up behind me in my rear-view mirror.  I wasn’t speeding and I know my inspection/registration stickers were up to date, so I had nothing to worry about.  Which is why I cannot explain why I was in such a quiet panic (if there is such a thing).  I can’t say that I have ever been that freaked out having a police car right behind me.  I was scoping out the exits because I just knew those blue lights were gonna come on and I was going to hear sirens.  And I didn’t know what I was going to do or what kind of police officer I was going to encounter.

Would he be a good cop?  Would he be a bad cop?  Would he be black or white?  Would that even matter?  Would he still be reeling from last Thursday’s ambush of his five brethren in Dallas and looking for retribution or revenge?  Would I know what to do to survive being stopped?  Would my daughter wake up in the back seat terrified?  Would I keep my hands on the steering wheel or would I instinctively go to my very large purse to retrieve my ID?  I keep my insurance card in my glove compartment.  Would I attempt to open it?  Would I have to verbally list out every action I needed to take “Sir, I am going to go in my purse and pull out my drivers’ license.  I do not have a weapon…”  Would I have to put my hands up?  Would I be shot putting my hands up…or reaching for my ID…in front my of my child?  Would the officer really fire into my car with a child present?  I knew that I would have to exercise EXTREME caution and be overly cooperative to make it home.

Thankfully after what seemed like forever (but probably was actually only a few minutes), the police officer decided I was driving too slow and went around me.  I breathed a huge sigh of relief.  And then I felt weird for feeling weird.  Why did I immediately panic and think about not making it home?  Why was I scared for my child?

I think because in that moment, when the police officer got behind me, I remembered the video that Diamond Reynolds recorded to Facebook.  In it, her dying fiance’ had been shot 4 or 5 times by a police officer who still held a gun on him as he lay mortally wounded and bleeding.  In the backseat was Ms. Reynolds’ daughter, 4, who witnessed the shooting.  I cannot even begin to imagine.  If that could happen in Minneapolis, it could definitely happen here in a Dallas suburb, especially after those 5 police officers were slaughtered and 7 more were injured last week by a crazed gunman seeking retribution in the most recent cases of police brutality that ended in the murders of two Black men.

It is very sad that I, along with my Black brothers and sisters, have to fear for our very lives during a routine traffic stop.  My white brothers and sisters don’t have that fear.  We shouldn’t have to be scared when we are pulled over or have interactions with those that are to serve and protect.  Unfortunately, some not so nice people with preconceived notions and prejudices wear that badge, and those are the ones we hope we don’t encounter before they are weeded out or retrained or prosecuted for murdering others.  Until that training happens and there are consequences for police officers using deadly force against us without cause, Black Lives Matter will have to remain our battle cry.  Because the hope is that if we say it enough…maybe everyone else will get the message too.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark and Facebook (“So Shaydee”)…..

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Welcome to Perfect Parenting in 2016

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Because there are no accidents involving kids in 2016…no tragic incidents where children are concerned.  Whenever anything bad happens….like a child being left in a hot car….or a child getting into a gorilla habitat at the zoo….or a child walkin’ in water along the shoreline of a DISNEY resort being snatched up by an alligator, we blame and shame the parents.  Saying that it would have NEVER happened to my child because I would have done such and such.

Bad things happen, People.  Sometimes, no matter how careful you are, an accident can happen.  You can always Monday quarterback a situation but at the end of the day, when a child DIES, our first thoughts should be empathy and compassion. A child is DEAD, and all over social media people are talking about the parents and asking why they would let their child have fun at a Disneyworld resort “beach” (there’s sand so to a toddler from Nebraska and for me…that’s a beach), and why didn’t they adhere to the NO SWIMMING (not beware of Alligators) signs (because we all know walking alongside the edges of a body of water is swimming), and why didn’t they know that every body of water in Florida has at least 10 alligators in it.  I could go on and on about the stuff I’ve read.

I had to stop reading, and stop commenting.  I was getting mad at the perfect parents (some who don’t even have children) and the alligator experts.  Someone even asked why the alligators were killed?  Really?  And that came from a PARENT.  No compassion…no sympathy….just looking to place blame and shame.

As a parent, my heart goes out to the parents of that little boy.  They probably looked forward to this magical trip to The Happiest Place on Earth for months.  I’m sure they counted down the days….and happily boarded the plane to Orlando, kids in tow, NEVER expecting that what happened would happen.  That they would lose their son to an alligator RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM, get no sleep while the lagoon was searched for their child’s body, then have to identify that tiny lifeless body drowned by a horrific animal, pack up their son’s clothes and toys, and make that return trip back to Nebraska without him.  I can’t imagine their hurt and pain.  I can’t imagine having to pick out a funeral home,  clothes, and a tiny casket for a burial after that vacation turned nightmare.

I know this blog isn’t going to make a difference because as I type..somebody is still asking “where were the parents…how’d they let this happen?”, because in 2016, that’s what we do.  Only PERFECT parenting is allowed…no mistakes.  While others are doing that, I will be over here as an imperfect parent saying a silent prayer for the family and that they are able to get through this devastating ordeal, and praying for my own child that a tragic ACCIDENT like this or similar never happens to her.  Because I know if it does, I will be blamed and shamed by all of social media.  (Photo from a FB mom whose child was at that very spot with his feet in the water about 30 minutes earlier)…

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark boyinlagoon

 

 

Bobby Brown’s Interview – 20/20

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I was wondering what made Bobby want to speak out about his life with Whitney and losing Bobbi Kristina now.  He spoke a little bit after Whitney died, but this was touted as being the first time we’d hear him share what he was going through when his daughter was on life support and how he felt about her and having to let her go.  I should have figured he had a book coming out or a new show or album or something he needed to sell.  I’m not mad at it though because Bobby Brown’s wife is pregnant again (she STAYS pregnant) and he gotta do somethin’ to keep them fed and in Pampers.

The interview didn’t disappoint though I feel like I know the Whitney/Bobby story.  There’s always three sides – his, Whitney’s and the truth which may lie somewhere in between.  He talked about getting his start in the music industry and living life in the fast lane.  For all the millennials that might read this – Bobby Brown WAS the 90s.  I distinctly remember him being one of the first ones if not THE first  to add raps to R&B songs AND I remember him doing remixes before they became popular  (check out that Rock Witcha remix on YouTube – it might be the reason you here…).  He was on soundtracks…in movies….he was doing the damn thing.  He said he dated some legends – among them Madonna and Janet Jackson.  I bet he dry grinded with them both.  I can see why they liked him cuz I wasn’t even having sex when he dropped that first album, and he coulda got it twice on Sundays.

And then he met and fell in love with America’s Pop Princess…the photos and videos from that wedding were amazing.  And that ring he put on her finger?  The first BIG ROCK that the world heard about before astronomical diamonds became a thing.  He said on the interview that his wedding day was the first time he witnessed Whitney doing drugs.  Said he had more cash in the bank when they got married than she did (I can believe this).  That would have made me get a divorce or ask for a trial separation.  He said he stayed cuz he wanted to protect her.  I think he stayed cuz Whitney had that thane.  She looked like she could go toe to toe and round for round with Bobby in the bedroom.  You know Bobby was a freak (used to go to jail for obscenity on stage during his concerts) so Whitney had to come through..was probably hanging off chandeliers and doing handstands and back bends in bed.

And so it began..the drugging and the drinking.  He said Whitney ain’t have no business doing that infamous Diane Sawyer interview.  She wasn’t in a good place.  Said he would try to get clean…and Whitney would pull him back in or vice versa.  Said they would do drugs with Bobbi Kristina in another room being cared for by a nanny.  No wonder she struggled with the same in her short life.  Said he is NOT an abuser though he admitted to hitting Whitney once behind the drugs.  Said he is now clean but still likes that yak every now and again (truthfully, he looked like he had hit that brown liquor tonight…but maybe he was trying to take the edge off).  It’s probably hell being Bobby Brown.

Said going to jail finally helped him kick his addiction.  And he went a lot.  And Whitney was always right by his side even when she was the reason he got locked up.  Said the reality show was a mistake and they shouldn’t have done it…and they damn sure should have been better parents to Bobbi Kris…said they failed her.  That made me sad.  All that money….and they couldn’t buy what they both needed – sobriety.  They did fail her.  She was our Blu Ivy.  And they let her down and everybody else.  Like that little white man on the show said – we should just remember the good times re: Whitney and hold hands and deny that the reality show ever happened.  That’s when all of America found out that Houston really had a problem. Y’all know I LOVE Whitney Houston but it was clear to even me that she as on that stuff.  You shouldn’t be in your 40s with a full bridge at the top and a partial plate at the bottom because you smoked out all your teeth.

Whitney passed….accidentally drowned in a bathtub as the result of cocaine use 5 years after they divorced.  Three years later, their daughter was found unresponsive in a bathtub with drugs in her system.  The common link – Nick Gordon was present with them both.  Bobby believes that man (he won’t say his name) knows what happened and had something to do with it.  He was estranged from his daughter after Whitney died but the two had reunited for a Father’s Day outing.  She had planned to move to L.A. with but died two days before she was supposed to leave.  He said letting her go..telling her to let go was the hardest thing he ever had to do and he wouldn’t wish that on anybody.  Of course, he cried…and then I cried.  Can’t imagine the deep pain of losing a child…you probably never ever get over it…you just have to deal and do the best you can to keep living.

Then they brought in his wife…pregnant again even though the baby they have doesn’t appear to be walking.  They also have a son together.  I love Bobby Brown but he doesn’t need any more kids.  When your grandkids are older than their aunties/uncles, you need to just stop. You can dry grind, but you should probably get snipped, cut and burnt.  He and his wife (former manager) appear to be happy.  And if Bobby’s weight is an indication, he is damn near joyful cuz he is a bit chunky.  He cooks now and has a line of seasonings and sauces.  It appears he does his own tasting.  I’m happy for him. He deserves a little bit of happiness.  His book will be out in another week, and I might actually read it if I can get a bootleg copy.  Y’all know my coins are scarce with my kid in summer camp.

(Edited to add: I forgot to mention that Bobby Brown dry grinded with a ghost!  He said he woke up outta his sleep to find a ghost ridin’ him like The Lone Ranger’s horse, Silver.  Chile, you gotta be on some STRONG sheeit to think you are having sex with a ghost….I will say this..if a ghost had sex with Bobby, it damn sure got pregnant, given his track record)

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Roots Series – History Channel

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My first thought when I heard that Roots was going to be “re-imagined” was why.  Why mess with an original…since there was no way they’d be able to do it justice?  And I saw the promo for it on Lifetime, and y’all know how they messed up the Aaliyah & Whitney Houston movies.  (I later realized it would be on the History Channel and felt better but I still was not convinced this was a good move).

I got it though.  There’s a whole generation of folks who have never seen Roots.  Who would probably be so turned off by the old school cinematography and bad wigs in the original that they would never get through all of it.  Thus never learning what they might not be able to get from history books.

Well I was WRONG.  Though this Roots was harder to watch than the original (because of the deeper storylines around the characters and all of the violence and blood and gore), it was NECESSARY and WELL-DONE.  I believe a younger generation saw this story for the first time.  Remember, that generation is far removed from the Civil Rights struggle and is running out of activists to tell the story.  That generation needed this…and mine needed the reminder.  Our ancestors went through it.  They struggled to survive in a country they were forced into…much like many of my sisters and brothers are STILL struggling to survive.  Even when the slave masters broke their skin (with whips and chains), they could NOT break their spirit.  They pushed through and gave birth to us.  THAT is powerful.  That they were able to overcome such adversity and LIVE.

Somebody needed that message. I needed that message.  “We” don’t vote when our ancestors couldn’t.  “We” don’t read…when our ancestors were not allowed to.  “We” don’t look our for each other…support each other…when that’s how our ancestors “got over”. I am grateful for the telling of our story.  It doesn’t matter how many times it is told…I will never tire of it.  I am also grateful for the character development and how this one was more in line with the book.  I am also grateful for great casting and STELLAR acting.  I swear everybody from the stage hands, to the set accountant, to the extras (shout out to my boy Cal Williams) to the main actors and actresses to the directors and producers deserve Emmys.  That soundtrack deserves a Grammy.

If you missed this series, you missed something very powerful.  I can’t stop singing the praises of a piece that was so expertly done and can’t wait to watch it again when my child is older.  Your name is your shield, and I am proud to be #KuntasKin.

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Scandal Finale (Season 5) – That’s My Girl

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Let me just say this finale was just like Janet Jackson’s baby hair – life giving.  Yasss Hun-tee.  It did NOT disappoint, so if you ain’t seen it, get thee to a DVR before you read the rest of these spoilers.

It started off nice enough.  Jake was hangin’ out with his new father-in-law.  At first, I was a bit confused because I be forgetting Jake married cuz he be everywhere except with his wife.  I think his clothes are still at Daddy Pope’s house, and I don’t even think they got to go on a honeymoon.  Jake’s father-in-law was telling him how Jake was just like a son to him while he sipped brown likka.  That Jake poured him.  Remember that Jake is a trained killer.  That man clutched his heart and asked Jake to call the ambulance.  Jake was like “yeah, I’m not your son…Rowan is my daddy…and he thinks you are of most use to us dead cuz we need the insurance money”.  That man fell on the floor, and Jake ushered him on to glory in the same way he did with James.  Told that man to let go and let GOD.  I was so mad at Jake for killin’ that man.  Look like he only had bout 8 months left anyway lookin’ like a fake arse Bernie Sanders.

Edison went to see Liv to give her Jake’s message – he needed Liv to save him from Rowan.  At first Liv wasn’t going to but she thought about how Jake used to hit that one spot she got and figured she would help him out.  She met with Jake and told him to trust her.  She tried to tell him why she said what she did at that church the day he got married, but Jake was only interested in the plan.

Meanwhile, Mellie and Frankie were both trying to find runnin’ mates.  Rowan had his hand in errybody’s pot just a-stirrin’ cuz he tried to get Frankie and Cyrus to let Jake be on his ticket (and Frankie is a Democrat – SMH).  Cyrus didn’t like it and went to Liv for help.  Liv pretty much cussed him out and then agreed with Cyrus.  She had to go up against her father.  By becoming command and going up against him in his face…being gangster and whatnot per Huck.

Abby left Liv’s medical files just laying around the office instead of shredding them.  Fitz found them but surprisingly didn’t mention that to Liv when he met with her.  He did apologize for not listening to her more.  It was a tender moment, but they ain’t have no soundtrack, so I wasn’t moved. That much.

Mellie picked some guy as her VP that sold drugs in college.  Liv “handled” that by sendin’ Huckleberry Quinn over with a new identity and address for the drug dealer’s partner.  But alas, he was found out and he had to drop out the race like Carly Fiorina fell through that stage trap door.  Liv ended up picking Jake to be Mellie’s running mate and went to get him from Daddy Pope’s house.  She told Jake to get up and leave with her, at which point Daddy Pope pulled out a pistol and put it to Jake’s head and told Liv she was bout to get her brother killed.  I was tryna figga out when Jake became Liv’s brother and if that nastiness they had done before was incest.  Liv told Jake Rowan wasn’t going to shoot him because Jake was his son.  Sheeit is Jake REALLY his son?  Now I’m confused.  She held Jake’s hand and Rowan did not pull the trigger.  He told Jake to get the hayle out fo he changed his mind.  I get it though…Jake done lived at that man’s house rent free and ate up all them pancakes and steak and drank up all that man’s wine and now he wanna leave?  That’s enough to get your temples grazed.

Jake decided he didn’t really wanna run for VP and tried to back out and move to a lil house in Vermont.  Liv told him the hayle..he was gon’ put that tie on and like it and get out there and Vice Presidentiate.  Jake said ‘you saved me from being Rowan’s bitch only to make me your bitch’.  Bay Bay…I got my life and other people’s.

Meanwhile, Cy changed his mind on getting David Rosen to be Frankie’s running mate, opting to run next to Frankie himself.  He quit Tom in the process (who was planning on killing Cy’s husband and making it look like an accident) and got back with his husband.  I don’t think you wanna cross somebody like Tom.  He ain’t got nothin’ to lose and done killed before.

I just knew Daddy Pope was in the audience to shoot Jake, Liv, Mellie, Abby, AND Fitz cuz that’s how he gets down.  He done killed errybody that done died on that show, either directly or indirectly.  But no..he was at home on his couch drankin’ wine and celebrating how he pretty much gave Liv the power to regain the White House.  We saw flashbacks to everything he ever said to her..did to her..it was all a set up so she would do what he wanted – go take back the Presidency and the White House.  That damn Daddy Pope.  He is the ULTIMATE puppet master.  He said “That’s My Girl” watching Liv on TV.  Now Shonda Rhimes just need to give Rowan’s arse a girlfriend so he will have something to do besides killin’ people.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

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