Of course, I was late to the party tonight.  American Airlines was treating me like Big Worm, playing with my emotions and whatnots.  I joined 5 mins into the show to find Liv back at work, and hopefully writing Quinn nem checks for backpay cuz I’m sure Liv ain’t made payroll since she told the press she had been dry grindin’ with Fitz.

In the next scene she was at Edison Davis’ house.  Bay Bay, Liv done had some fine men Chile.  I keep wonderin’ how she have so many eligible men and I got friends in D.C. who can’t get 1/8th of a good man.  Edison called her a whore like 7 times.  If I was Liv, I woulda mushed him in the face or somethin’.  That thane still scorned after all this time.

Tonight was all about how she was gon’ go on TV and make America fall in love with her and her and Fitz’ love story.  Is that what they calling it now?  Now I love that Liv’s character is strong, smart, a go-getter, and all of that.  But I’m conflicted on if I like her love story with Fitz.  The wife in me feel some type of way bout her layin’ up in that White House in the marital bed Fitz used to share with Mellie.  At least go in a spare bedroom, change the mattress or something.  Meanwhile, the wife been put out to pasture, litrally and figratively…reduced to drankin’ cocktails and eatin popcorn with Cyrus while she watches Liv take her place.

I thought I would be happy when Fitz finally got with Liv, but I wasn’t.  I ain’t feel right about it.  I almost would have rather Fitz denounce his presidency and go off somewhere with Liv.  Like Timbuktu.  Or Idaho.  Or Vermont.  Ain’t he still got that house there?

Liv went on them people’s news show and poured her heart out about falling in love with Fitz.  I swear she pulled at erry last one of my heart strangs.  And then she went to see Jake.  And promptly met HIS wife.  Yes, BOTH of Liv’s boyfriends married.  That thane stay side chickin’.

Liv figga’d out that as part of the impeachment proceedings against Fitz, they got the tape of Liv kidnapped and will prove that Fitz went to war over coochie, pretty much, which will bring down the White House.  Fitz called the only person he could – Cyrus.  Cuz without Cy, it was clear the White House had done went from sugah to sheeit.  Cyrus ended up agreeing to come back but had a list of demands longer than that prison sentence they done gave Daddy Pope.  Fitz agreed all to all of ’em.

Next week, we been invited to the wedding of the year.  Yes, Liv bout to marry Fitz in a quickie wedding.  She must be pregnant.  And Daddy Pope gon’ be able to come to the wedding via Skype.

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So yeah, I’m in these people’s Admirals Club on this free wine.  Y’all know Black foke – we ain’t used ta nothin’, ‘specially if it’s free.  Thought I might as well do a quick blog entry bout Empire last night.  They took us to church last night.  Unwillingly, but we had to go since we was watching.  But before we got to church we witnessed the following:

Hakeem done finally met a girl that won’t lay up with him in that tub in his apartment living room.  You know that tub prolly got all kinds of rangs around it cuz he done had a whole clan of foke up in it, including Boo Boo Kitty.  Wait..where was Boo Boo Kitty last night?

Them foke is after Cookie tryna extort money and steal Lyon Dynasty’s masters.  Which is odd since they just started in business 2 days ago. How they even got enough music to make a master?

Cookie done found her a man!  It won’t be long fo’ she bumpin’ and dry grindin’ with him.  I approve.  Since Lucious don’t wanna act right, she may as well move on.

That ol’ sleazy jackleg photographer ain’t right.  He don’t care who he drop to his knees for.  So wrong for seducin’ Jamal’s boyfriend.  I hollered when Precious boxed him in his neck on the way out.

I don’t like how they did Vernon.  Now he did have ashy hands and lips for most of the show, but he was still a man you know?  First, they put his body in that lady car…and then they had him cremated and nobody wanted his ashes.  They passed him back and forth like he was a blunt.  Hayle…maybe that’s what they can do with him.  Roll him up in some papers and smoke him.  I hollered when Lucious said “give him to your sister..she used to like him”.  Poor Vernon…even in death, he a damn joke.

Andre decided to get baptized.  Done done mo’ dirt than the law allow but now done found Jesus.  I’m over here giving a HEAVY side eye…likely cuz I’m slightly tipsy off this oil.  He invited the family out….and they all came.  Even Lucious.  I just knew GOD was gon’ blow that church up.  And then when they dunked Dre in that baptismal fount, Lucious started flashbackin’ to when his crazy mama dunked him under the water tryna kill him.  He got up outta there like he had somewhere to be.  They say them devils cain’t stand being in church.

And then, IT happened.  They stole Hakeem.  They kidnapped that thane and threw him in a van.  I guess next week, he will be on a milk carton or 1-800- MISSING.

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I couldn’t even come up with a snazzy name with errythane that went on with Empire tonight. Tonight, Lucious was happy to be outta jail but couldn’t go to Empire lest he be arrested.  That DA was so busy followin’ Lucious around waitin’ for him to slip up and talmbout Vernon bein’ in witness protection that she ain’t realize her Vernon BEEN GONE on to glo-ray.

The feds busted up into Empire while yo’ boy Jamal was harmonizin’  That thane sho’ can sang.  The feds didn’t stop at Empire..they also busted up in Lyon Dynasty (Cookie’s strugglin’ label).  For what I don’t know when it’s been in business like 12 days.  I’m sure they didn’t find anythane but a few empty boxes and a couple staplers.

Anika was busy tryna to get back in with Cookie, and Andre was busy beggin’ his daddy to let him back into Empire.  You know Lucious an’t feelin’ him because he kept havin’ those flashbacks of his mama (played brilliantly by Kelly Rowland) being “crazy”.  Andre told him he was gon’ have a grandchile, and Lucious pretty much told him to get outta his face.  I feel so bad for Andre.  That thane tryna find GOD, looking for deals for Empire and begging his daddy just tryna get back in to Empire.  Damn Lucious…take that boy back!

Hakeem and Jamal were still at each other’s throats, and Hakeem won for a minute when he actually slit Jamal’s throat in a  picture.  An ol’ wet headed photog had put it together and also seemed to be sweet on ol’ Jamal, making Jamal’s man a little salty.  I’m beggin’ the writers of Empire not to let Jamal sleep with that man.  He ain’t cute or built enough. On a video set that looked like the one in California Love (Dre and Pac), Hakeem and Jamal got ta fightin’ with Hakeem bout to hit his brother all bout the face and ears with a bat.  Luckily that ain’t happen.

Lucious did some underhanded sheeit by buying up all the radio stations (where are the anti-trust foke when you need ’em) and stealin’ Hakeem’s artist and newest thot, essentially killin’ Lyon Dynasty.  Cookie is not to be played with tho’ and when she got picked up on a trumped up charge (that her assistant Portia really should have gotten and thrown back in the slammer, she broke under that PTSD pressure.  She got the DA to agree to kill the radio station deal while she investigates Lucious for the murder of Bunky.  All while giving us MJ realness in a red leather jacket.  Looking like an extra from “Beat It”.

Meanwhile, Andre was still lookin’ for something to get him back into his dad’s good graces and Empire.  Said GOD sent him a Tweet that said go out there and dig up Vernon, but GOD musta forgot to tell him where Vernon was cuz Andre and his wife couldn’t find him after diggin’ for a minute.  Lucious had put a trackin’ device on Andre and showed up at the dig site with that ol’ sleazy attorney.  I swear that thane got his law degree and license from ICDC College where Romeo Miller is the president.

The attorney had a corpse locating device and they all dug up Vernon.  Bay bay that lil white lady Dre married is ride or die for real.  They were dressed like Bonnie and Clyde – I lived for their grave diggin’ outfits.  They finally dug up Vernon’s body, and Dre said some nice final words over him.  You know he a lowkey deacon in that new church he joined.  Lucious asked for alone time with Vernon and then called that thane a snitch and cussed him out.  How you do ALL THAT to a dead body?

And in the final scene, the DA was headed out and on her phone.  She got in her car and turned to the passenger seat and saw Vernon’s dead body sittin’ there like “what’s good?”  Bay Bay…I screamed.  And I’m STILL mad that Vernon been missin’ since last season and ain’t nobody filed a missin’ person report.  The Empire Writers want me to believe Vernon an only chile with no parents, no cousins, not even a woman that woulda been lookin’ for him?  Um okay.  Well at least now they can funeralize him properly since he been found.  Next week, Empire gon’ take us to church.  Now that Dre done buried Vernon, dug him back up again and sat him in that lady’s car, he gon’ find JESUS.

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So I guess I forgot to recap last week’s Scandal and Annalise nem.  Between me & you, I ain’t even finish watchin’ HTGAWM.  That dark set and all that sex talk had my eyes REAL heavy!  Annalise ain’t nothin’ but an ol’ freak.  Bay Bay – that hard walkin’ thane gets it in!  Last week, ERRYBODY was gettin’ it in.  E’en ol’ broke gaydar-ed Mikayla had done pulled HER somebody.  I have to finish watching last week’s show before this week’s.  I need to know how Annalise ended up gutted and layin’ in that pool o’ blood so don’t tell me if you already know.

On Scandal, I was all set to watch the fall-out from Liv tellin’ the world she been dry grindin’ with the President, and it started out just that way.  Mellie pretty much called Liv a “thot”, and hired Cy to broker a deal between her and Fitz that would keep Fitz from marrying Liv, keep Liv outta the White House as a permanent resident, and keep Fitz from impregnating Liv.  In other words, Mellie was gon’ have them thanes on a strang until she got to be President herself.  Ain’t nothin’ like a woman scorned.

Liv realized she made a mistake when she saw Mellie grabbin’ that white hooch in a mason jar from her closet and then allowed Abby to make thanes right.  Cy felt powerful and pretty much did errythane but get down on his knees when he begged Fitz for his job back.  Fitz told him to go back to his hoe cuz he ain’t work at the White House no mo’.  That he couldn’t even clean the toilets.  Damn.  Fitz ain’t even look at him either, and was so cold that I felt a breeze in my livin’ room watchin’.

Paris burned (litrally and figratively) while Liv and Fitz and Mellie was caught up in they love triangle…and Jake (who really ain’t got nothin’ to do now that Liv don’t rub her booty up against him no mo’) saw it and ran up outta OP and Associates.

And then it happened.  In the words of Miss Sophia from The Color Purple.  I was feeling low….I was feelin’ mighty bad….and then I seent Daddy Pope up in them people’s prison eatin’ jello and watchin’ tv and I KNOW there is a GAWD!  Bout time.  Jake went to see him, put money on his books and sneak him a carton of cigarettes while they chatted about what was happening in Paris.  Looks like this week, they gon’ have something cooking.

Liv and Fitz are back to being undercover lovers, Fitz asked Mellie to move back into the White House, Huck still crazy and threatenin’ to wrap foke up in plastic, Abby still runnin’ thanes in the White House, and Cyrus still on the outside looking in.

:::Insert dramatic music::: Will Daddy Pope break outta them people’s jail?  Will he have to fight like Ol’ Sophia to keep his conebread?  Will Liv and Fitz still be dry grindin’ to ol’ Aretha Franklin and Roberta Flack songs?  Will Cyrus stay down for long?  Will Huck duct tape somebody and go back into the tooth extraction business?  Will Jake now have a storyline that doesn’t include Liv?  Tune in Thursday for the answers to these and other questions….

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You know by the time I get to this recap, I be sleepy and tired plus I don’t be remembering sheeit.  I need to work on learning everybody’s name but damn…it’s so many foke!  Errybody and they mama, litrally, is either a student or an associate or a former screw buddy of Annalise’s.

Annalise had to take the stand tonight at the pre-trial hearing for her ex-boyfriend Nate.  You know they still sayin’ Nate killed Annalise’s husband, even though we all know that ain’t true.  Nate might murdered Annalise’s Hello Kitty but he ain’t kilt nobody.

Annalise was hostile as hayle on the stand.  Objectin’ and calling stuff hearsay when she shoulda been testifyin’.  Of course, she threw Nate under the bus when she said she thought he killed her husband.  Then she went completely off on the lil prosecutin’ attorney.  If I’da been in the courtroom, I woulda rubbed that lady’s back in a circle and said “Woo woo woo” cuz Annalise let that thane have it.  The prosecuting attorney pretty much put Annalise on trial which would prove to be a huge mistake.  The judge let Nate go…and told the state to start over.

Annalise’s girlfriend from Harvard went for her jugular when she had to cross-examine. She knew Annalise would be hot, so she went over there wearin’ sexy pannies and lingerie and such under her suit.  You know Annalise gets it in, so soon them thanes was gropin’ each other and kissin’ like Celie and Shug Avery.  “Miss Celie, you ain’t neva made love…Nawl…cuz nobody lub me..”  Them thanes fell into bed together and they 5 minute sex scene lasted about 4 1/2 minutes too long.

In the background, Wes did some mo’ stupid sheeit…all the other foke did stupid sheeit…and somehow the prosecuting attorney mentioned earlier ended up dead and Annalise ended up shot up all around the abdomen and torso.  It was clear she was dying, and of course, the students are attracted to dying and dead bodies like Donald Trump is attracted to blondes so they were standin’ over her tryna figga out what to do.

They ended up doing what they do best…runnin’.  I would offer more here but they turned all the lights off on the set and it was hard to see.

I guess it’s for the best, since I’m tired and sleepy.  I wonder who shot Annalise just like I wondered who shot JR back in the day….

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Scandal opened with Sally spillin’ ALL the tea bout Fitz and Liv.  Fitz was ready to have a press conference and finally publicly claim Liv.  One thane bout Liv tho’…she ALWAYS has to be in control.  She got that from her daddy AND her mama, so you know she was already down the secret White House tunnel by the time Fitz came back to get her.  I’m still tryna figure out how she had enough cellphone reception in there to hold a whole conversation with Fitz when my phone be droppin’ calls at home. But this ain’t bout me and how my Verizon coverage is set up.

Since all Liv’s bidness was put in the them streets…she was basically on the run like Beyonce and Jay Z on that concert tour they had this summer.  Or like Nino Brown right fo’ he kilt G Money.  It worked out that she got hired to “fix” a situation (a dude killed his father cuz his father called him a a weasel – da hayle?) that took her outta D.C. for a minute.

Mellie came to the White House and told Fitz all he had to do was apologize for them divorce papers he served her with and she would come back home.  Fitz was anythane BUT apologetic, cuz he thought Mellie leaked the photos, and Bay Bay…Mellie read him for FILTH.  I’m talmbout her whole frontal lobe ain’t even move while she was gettin’ in Fitz arse like Eddie Long.  Ain’t nothin’ like a woman scorned.

David was brought in to investigate the leak, and Abby was hung out to dry in front of the media.  She sought the assistance of Cyrus who told her what to do in classic “Cy-Speak”.  Imma need Cyrus to go get his job back because without him the White House done went from sugar to sheeit!

Jake from State Farm came back to help Liv with her fixology, and in a particularly tender moment at a Motel 6, they cuddled with each other in them people’s hotel bed.  I felt sorry for ol’ Jake because Liv did that classic move of pushing her booty up against him, even though she knew she wasn’t gon’ give him none.  Po’ Jake. He’s a good dude…you know, if you put aside him killin’ James, those two agents, and a whole bunch of other people.  Liv should just gon’ and be with him because Fitz got too much damn baggage.

Liv and Fitz still hadn’t publicly addressed Sally’s tea-spillin’ bout them dry grindin’ in the White House and carrying on, but Susan Ross (the new VP) lit into the President and read him like an overdue lie-berry book bout his affair.  Yes, I realize errytime I write lie-berry, somewhere an educator cries.

Abby figga’d out that Lizzy Bear was the one who leaked the photos to Sally even though she tried to frame Mellie for it.  Mellie was cleared and Fitz called her, apologized and told her to brang her arse home.  Abby didn’t tell the President bout Lizzy Bear’s treason but did demand that they become equals.  I was disappointed with that because I wanted her to make Lizzy her beetch.  I damn sho’ woulda.

Fitz left a voicemail message for Liv and told her he was about to do a press conference with Mellie and he was going to deny the rumors about their affair.  Jake brought Liv back to her place and didn’t get so much as a good day handshake.  Liv got out and headed to her apartment where the media was waiting with mics and cameras and phones.  One reporter asked if it was true..if Liv was the president’s mistress.  There was a long pause (I think Liv was actually thinkin’ ‘no this thane ain’t gon’ beat it up in closets and hideaway houses in Vermont and MY apartment for FOUR seasons and then NOT claim me!).  And then Liv said “yes” and with that one word, the Innanets went WILD!  I wished a pox on the house of Shonda Rhimes and all the writers cuz I felt like they played with my emotions like I was Big Worm.

I don’t know what’s gon’ happen next week but I hope they let Daddy Pope outta them people’s prison on furlough or something cuz Liv damm sho’ need her daddy!

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Today is October 1st – the 1st day of breast cancer awareness month.  I lost my beautiful 46 year old mother-in-law to breast cancer.

One year after she passed away, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  The first time.  I was 34 years old, so please don’t read this and think you are too young to be worried about your breast health.  I thought I was invincible…until that day.  I had the standard treatment – lumpectomy (two), radiation, and a daily dose of Tamoxifen for the next 5 years.  Started feeling invincible again around year 3, and decided to stop taking the hormone-blocking meds to have a baby.  I don’t regret that decision, because my McKenzie is my lovely heartbeat that walks around on earth.  She has spent a right smart of my money since she’s been here, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. Well maybe a million dollars.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer again when she was 3.  This time was different.  With the first battle, I figured if something happened to me, I had lived a pretty good life and Nate (my husband) could go on without me.  He’s easy on the eyes…tall, dark and handsome…all he needed what somebody who could cook and he would be straight. Of course, the heffa would need to be bigger than me (a lot) or blow up shortly after marriage so she couldn’t fit into any of my clothes.  Hey, even in times of struggle, I can be petty.

However, McKenzie needed her mommy.  Just like I needed all the mommies (biological, adoptive, and legal guardian) who had abandoned me – one through no fault of her own.  I didn’t want my story to be my baby’s. Not without a fight.  I sooo did not want to do chemo.  I took a couple of tests and they all came back saying that if I didn’t do chemo, the risk of my cancer coming back in 5-10 years was 29%.  I’m a CPA, so I rounded that up and figured I had a 1 in 3 chance of it returning.  Um, I’ll take the chemo, Alex, for $500.  I had to throw everything in the arsenal including the kitchen sink at this disease for my baby.

Of course, I lost my hair.  I’m a bit vain, and I wasn’t sure how my bald head would look.  Thankfully, it wasn’t oddly shaped, and I didn’t look like an alien bout the head.  I still rocked a wig for most of my treatment.  And makeup.  I was always expecting to run into Morris Chestnut on my way to chemo but it never happened.  I also had both breasts removed (bilateral mastectomy) this time.  My attempt at reconstruction failed, because I’m just “lucky” like that.

Breast cancer is synonymous with the color pink, which I never thought too much about until I ended up with these scars. Though the color pink is beautiful (and my favorite before AKA and breast cancer), the reality of breast cancer is anything but.  It’s a horrible disease..it robs of you of so much and sometimes even your life.  I’ve hidden my scars for the past year….but today I proudly accept them and show them.  They tell the story I just told you.  Of how I went up against breast cancer TWICE and WON.  You can win too…against breast cancer and anything else.  And don’t be ashamed of your scars.  They are proof that you are a warrior.

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I am too embarrassed to be just outright recapping Love & Hip Hop Hollywood because I’m shame that I actually watch it.  But hey, Monday’s a slow night…I watch Dancin’ With The Stars, The Wanna Be Stars, The Has Beens and the Never Wases and then I’m all up in Fatal Attraction and For My Man.

For My Man is about all these women that have committed murders and got locked up behind a man.  You got to have some real good stuff to make a person wanna give up all they freedom for prison.  Ain’t no way.  I’m kinda cute too.  I wouldn’t last 10 minutes in prison befo’ I’d have to fight for my conebread and buy my way out of cuffing season with a box of cigarettes.

I only know a couple foke from LHHH – Brandy’s little brother, Ray J and Omarion.  Oh and Soldier Boy.  Ray J keeps tryna come up since he let Kim K go and she went on to be quadruple the star he is, but this story line with him and Tierra Marie and Princess is too much.  I think he really wants Princess even though she jumped on him in Nawlins and to’ that thane’s ACL off.  Again, she must have some good stuff cuz he still followin’ up behind her.  They say them crazy ones have that THANE.

Lil B is Whitney Houston’s goddaughter (so she says…it ain’t like Whitney (RIP) is here to deny it) and is so overly dramatic, it works my nerves.  She’s with some super producer (supposedly but you on this show, like the rest of the cast who STAY in the studio but don’t neva have nothin’ playin’ on the radio which boggles my mind) and he obviously doesn’t wanna be married.  Tonight, she tried to chase him (he was in a truck) while wearin’ a maxi skirt that was tight like one of those dresses Geisha girls wear when their feet are bound.  Bay Bay..I hollered when he sped off in reverse.

There was drink throwin’ and face mushin’ but I don’t really know the randoms who were involved and don’t care enough to google.  Oh, there is also a gay rapper on the show.  He is living a secret life.  Yeah, on a NATIONALLY TELEVISED REALITY SHOW.  But yet, my black arse still watched it.

Anthony Anderson (the comedian) is getting a divorce.  That saddens me.  They were high school sweethearts.  She loved him through obesity and effed up teeth and bit parts and chump change and he uses her up for 20 years and then moves on.  Here’s hoping she gets some good shiny coins for her troubles.

My prayers go out to Kim Zolciak of RHOA fame because she apparently had a stroke on her left side.  Of course, she posted a selfie wearing an oxygen mask from her hospital bed.  I’da been more impressed if she had taken a selfie from a wheelchair, you know seein’ that her left side was s’posably numb.  But anyway, she had to withdraw from Dancing With The Stars which was probably her plan all along.  It’s football season..and she wants to be at her husband’s games in Atlanta not in LA.  And she got like 4 kids under 6, so I’m sure she too tired to practice.  I will miss her…she was HORRIBLE the first time but was actually good last week.  Oh well…there’s always Chaka Khan.  Oh wait..she gone too.  I guess I will cheer for Tamar.

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I almost wasn’t gon’ do this recap, cuz I don’t know if I was too full of them people’s cheap wine or the show was moving to quickly or I was still mad bout the money I put in my child’s backpack for the book fair coming up missing, but I don’t know what I watched.  It’s hard a hayle to do a recap when you don’t remember sheeit.  And yes, I watched it from the beginning to the end.

Rebecca, Wes’ girlfriend, was laying in the basement dead with blood comin’ outta her mouth at the end of last season.  So it’s another “whodunnit” since we don’t know who her killer is.  I pretty much pegged Frank as the killa since we know a) he ain’t got no qualms bout murderin’ foke; b) he killed that Sam’s (Annalise’s husband) sidepiece last season and c) he got rid of the body.  But he was adamant that he ain’t do it, and I ain’t think Annalise did it cuz she she doesn’t seem like the type to actually murder somebody outright.

There were gay shenanigans going on between those two guys…even though one had been diagnosed with HIV at the end of last season (I’ll learn names later when I’m not as sleepy).  They moved in together at the end of the show. Mikayla met another nice young man who unfortunately likes boy coochie more than he likes her kind.  That thane need to change her perfume cuz she’s a gay man MAGNET.  She also needs to get checked out cuz her gaydar got to be BROKE.  Luckily she cut this one off befo’ anythane got started.

The attorney (Eve) Annalise wanted Nate to hire to help get him off (after she framed him for her Sam’s murder) showed up and you could tell there was hist’ry between her and Annalise.  Annalise ended up with a case where two adopted kids who apparently be dry grindin’ with each other killed their rich parents.  Allegedly.  In their mansion.  Allegedly.

Nate wanted no parts of Eve and told her and Annalise so amid flashbacks of him and Annalise goin’ at it like two wild dogs.  I tell you that Annalise must be on that female Niagra cuz she gets it in!  Cue the next scene where Annalise is apologizin’ to Eve about doggin’ her out back at Harvard, when she left her for Sam.  Yes Chile..Annalise was even gettin’ it in back then, AND down with the swirl!  Next thane you know, they was kissing like Shug and Miss Celie in The Color Purple!  I’m talmbout deep kissing.  I did NOT know Annalise swung ALL ways!

Annalise took the kids out for a night on the town.  I ain’t neva seen a professor that hang out with her students like Annalise does with those kids – where her friends her age at?  She danced and flirted with Wes, this after he came out the mouth all slick with her in her law school class (Annalise couldn’t say nothing either!).  They will be dry grindin’ fo’ the season is ova..mark my words.  Wes believes that Rebecca has run off and says he has to get over it.  I ain’t believe that.  He knows that girl is erry bit as dead as an Iphone when you don’t charge it ovanight.

Annalise figured out (along with the audience) that Bonnie (Annalise’s dedicated associate) actually killed Rebecca (wow..did NOT see THAT coming) and went to confront her.  The aunt to the two (alleged) killers ended up in a car with her throat cut after testifying against them.

The show fast forwarded 2 months later, and there were gunshots (I think) in that mansion where the parents died. We see Wes runnin’ from the mansion, and the scene cuts to Annalise layin’ on her back in a pool of blood with all kindsa wounds to her abdomen and chest.  Likely dry grindin’ fo’ she met her fate.  I’m going to assume she will recover but you know we gon’ walk back them 2 months all season to see how she ended up there.  Cuz we know she ain’t gon’ die cuz she done won an Emmy for taking off her eyebrows, lashes, makeup and hair last season.  I figure she gon’ take off a leg or two this season and win them people’s Oscar.

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Well Scandal is back and so are my recaps!  I’m glad cuz for a minute, my blog was drier than an ol’ lady in menopause.  Of course, it started with Fitz and Liv dry grindin’ all up and through the White House bedroom with Mellie nowhere to be found.  Remember, Fitz told her to pack her bags and get the hayle out  last season.  They teased us to make us think the coming out party that was being planned was for Fitz and Liv to come out as a couple.  But…alas…the party was to celebrate a royal family who was in Washington (Queen Momma, Prince Son and the Princess Daughter-In-Law).

Sally Langston was back up to her old tricks on her talk show “The Liberty Report” spillin’ all kindsa tea while wearin’ them ol’ murderous kitten heels.  Mellie was still smartin’ from bein’ put out by her husband and was stayin’ at a hotel from the looks of it, and Fitz nem had told foke she had the flu to explain her absence from the state dinner.  Of course, Liv was there makin’ goo goo eyes at her man (Fitz).

Some other stuff happened, and then all of a sudden the Princess died in a car accident reminiscent of what happened to Princess Diana back in 1997 (yes I remember the year, cuz I mourned…you hear me? and that’s also the year I met my baby daddy – good times!).  The Queen called Liv who went to the crash scene in the tunnel and threw her good white coat over the body to keep the paparazzi from takin’ pictures.  I cried…but not for the Princess cuz I ain’t know her like that.  I cried cuz that perfectly good coat was gon’ have all that blood on it.

Quinn appeared to be the only gladiator still employed at OPA and thus was doin’ errythane…from locating all the paparazzi who had taken photos…to payin’ them off…to runnin’ the buffers over the office floor and lockin’ up the place for the night.  Huck was laid out on Liv’s couch at her house waitin’ for Liv to fix him like she got somebody’s psychiatrist license, but she hadn’t been home cuz she was booed up with Fitz at the W.H.

Mellie was ready to be sworn into Congress and asking Lizzy Bear (the new Chief of Staff – remember Cy got fired behind that busload of people being killed last season) to make sure Fitz was by her side.  Lizzy pretty much cussed Mellie out and wished her good luck in her future endeavors.  I love the way these two go back and forth. I wonder if either one of them have gone to visit that ol’ nasty VP they used to dry grind with ‘fo he had that “stroke” on his left side.  That thane prolly livin’ in a convalescence home in Florida.

Fitz told Liv he asked Mellie for a divorce, and side chicks everywhere stood up and clapped.  Liv told him he couldn’t do that..that he needed to be there for Mellie’s swearing in.  He showed up which made Abby and Lizzy both look like fools.  Mellie thought that meant they was gon’ get back together, but Fitz told her nope…he wanted a divorce.  Mellie STAYED losin’ tonight even though she was sworn in as a congresswoman.

Liv and Fitz had a lovers spat after Liv figured out that somebody had messed with the Princess’ car like somebody had messed with Mistah’s mailbox in The Color Purple.  Lizzy witnessed it and told Abby.  Then they both worked together to give ol’ Sally Langston even more sweet tea to spill.  Liv went home to lie down, noticed Huck was missin’ and saw a tabloid bout the Princess.  She figured out Huck was the one behind the Princess’ murder and had been hired by the Queen cuz the Princess was pregnant with her security guard’s baby.  And the Queen wasn’t bout to have a non-blood relative as an heir to the throne.  Damn all that.  Liv couldn’t tell the po-po cuz of her nondisclosure agreement but did tell the Prince who told his mama she was gon’ step down as Queen soon as they got back to Monaco.  He did that sheeit at the fun’ral.  I hollered!

Liv finally convinced Fitz that they couldn’t be together right now…and they needed more time to get together.  And then Abby told them to turn on they television which is always a bad sign – i.e. some sheeit happening that you don’t wanna see.  Of course it was that ol’ messy arse Sally Langston spillin’ tea about Fitz and Liv’s relationship, complete with photos of them being inappropriate.  Bay Bay…I screamed.  Sally Langston is indestructible…like a damn roach.  That thane shoulda been killed SEVERAL times or at least in prison for murderin’ her husband with a kitten heel…but no..she still around doin’ dirt.

We then saw Cyrus suitin’ up to get back in the game…and Huck knocking on that ol’ fine arse Jake from State Farm’s door.  I was happy to see him. I didn’t know if he died over the summer or what.

*cue cheesy dramatic soap opera music*  Now that the sheeit done hit the fan….what is Fitz nem gon’ do?  Where is Mama Pope and do she have full cable?  Why ain’t nobody visit Daddy Pope and put money on his books?  What is Liv gon’ do to handle this situation now that Sally Langston done put all her bidness on front street.  You know I will be tunin’ in next week, holding on to my edges for dear life!

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark