Lawd…They Done Stole Hakeem!

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So yeah, I’m in these people’s Admirals Club on this free wine.  Y’all know Black foke – we ain’t used ta nothin’, ‘specially if it’s free.  Thought I might as well do a quick blog entry bout Empire last night.  They took us to church last night.  Unwillingly, but we had to go since we was watching.  But before we got to church we witnessed the following:

Hakeem done finally met a girl that won’t lay up with him in that tub in his apartment living room.  You know that tub prolly got all kinds of rangs around it cuz he done had a whole clan of foke up in it, including Boo Boo Kitty.  Wait..where was Boo Boo Kitty last night?

Them foke is after Cookie tryna extort money and steal Lyon Dynasty’s masters.  Which is odd since they just started in business 2 days ago. How they even got enough music to make a master?

Cookie done found her a man!  It won’t be long fo’ she bumpin’ and dry grindin’ with him.  I approve.  Since Lucious don’t wanna act right, she may as well move on.

That ol’ sleazy jackleg photographer ain’t right.  He don’t care who he drop to his knees for.  So wrong for seducin’ Jamal’s boyfriend.  I hollered when Precious boxed him in his neck on the way out.

I don’t like how they did Vernon.  Now he did have ashy hands and lips for most of the show, but he was still a man you know?  First, they put his body in that lady car…and then they had him cremated and nobody wanted his ashes.  They passed him back and forth like he was a blunt.  Hayle…maybe that’s what they can do with him.  Roll him up in some papers and smoke him.  I hollered when Lucious said “give him to your sister..she used to like him”.  Poor Vernon…even in death, he a damn joke.

Andre decided to get baptized.  Done done mo’ dirt than the law allow but now done found Jesus.  I’m over here giving a HEAVY side eye…likely cuz I’m slightly tipsy off this oil.  He invited the family out….and they all came.  Even Lucious.  I just knew GOD was gon’ blow that church up.  And then when they dunked Dre in that baptismal fount, Lucious started flashbackin’ to when his crazy mama dunked him under the water tryna kill him.  He got up outta there like he had somewhere to be.  They say them devils cain’t stand being in church.

And then, IT happened.  They stole Hakeem.  They kidnapped that thane and threw him in a van.  I guess next week, he will be on a milk carton or 1-800- MISSING.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

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