I tried to come up with a cute, funny title and realized “just wow” is pretty much all I got.  I remember when I watched the very first episode of Being Mary Jane.  I sorta didn’t know what to think…thought it was a lot…thought it was doing too much.  Well, I’m glad I hung the hayle on cuz BMJ is the BIDNESS.  Yas SIR!

Tonight’s episode was written superbly..and the acting was even better.  There was more than one storyline but it didn’t make the finale too busy.  BMJ got errythane right tonight.

BMJ was still disappointin’ the ancestors by layin’ up with that lil white man, but he fine, so I ain’t mind.  David’s mama (Meredith Baxter Birney!  Love her!) came by cab to MJ’s house to try to get her to get back with David.  Even tho’ that man got a wife AND a baby.  In other words, askin’ MJ to sell herself real short by stayin’ the side chick. MJ was like hayle naw….and pretty much told her to get the hayle outta her house.  I was glad.  I don’t like how errybody feel like they can just show up to MJ house talkin’ all reckless and actin’ familiar.  She need to get a pit bull guard dog.

After that lil fine white man rapped off beat at karaoke, MJ realized they weren’t gon’ make it.  She wants Black love and he cain’t give her that.  I think them people at TalkBack had somethin’ to do with the break-up too cuz they wanted to make her “something new” a show topic.  You know when they bring in the cameras on yo’ stuff, it ain’t gon’ be right.

MJ went down to CeCe’s bookstore and gave a talk and signed some books and whatnots.  She told CeCe they should make their story (car accident and extortion plot) into a book.  You know CeCe is all for anythane that gon’ grease them ol’ dry palms she got, so she was def on board.

Kara got in trouble with HR behind Marisol and got blackmailed for talkin’ reckless.  You know these Millenials don’t care nothin’ bout titles and hierarchies at work.  They ain’t tryna work no overtime or pay no dues.  Kara went ahead and made Marisol the anchor for her new show, and still got HR called on her.  Barbara from HR showed up right to Kara’s office, and you know it ain’t neva good when Barbara show up at your place of bidness or call yo’ phone.  Ask Shirley from that old blues song.

That one intern MJ done hired ready to do some good stories bout the Black Lives Matter movement, but as a favor to her boss, MJ had to go back to the fluff pieces.  The intern called her out and was still allowed to keep her job and leave early.  These millenials are sooo entitled.

Niecy is still working at that job (I just knew she’d be fired by now after givin’ them hook-ups) and her daddy or her uncle was bout to buy her a car.  And yes they all still up in they daddy/granddaddy house after Shaft pretty much told they arses to get the hayle out last week.

CeCe bought her a new pair of tennises with MJ’s money so she could be fly for the business meeting to pitch their book.  That thane kept runnin’ her mouth to them PR foke at the meeting MJ had set up.  But what CeCe ain’t know was that them foke she was talking to were undercover five O and they recorded errythane she said and arrested her for extortion. Bay Bay…she cussed MJ high and low…told her she (CeCe) was the only-est friend MJ got and how she killed her other friend.  MJ told her that was why her arse was headed to them people’s jail cuz she takes it too far.  Just like the extortion..wanting mo’ and mo money.

They put them cuffs on CeCe and because game recognize game, CeCe made them tip her hat to MJ.  They also shoulda run a comb through that hair while her hat was off (she had a serious case of hat hair) but they didn’t.  Bye Ce-cisha!

And in the final scene, Mara Brock Akil nem laid me low and snatched all my edges.  Niecy got a new car and was driving her kids home with her music playing loud.  She got pulled over by a cop who snatched her up outta the car for talkin’ back and then tazed by the same cop.  She was layin’ on the ground, being roughed up by the cops while her Black babies looked on.  RIP in Sandra Bland, and thank you Mara Akil Brock for this vehicle, Gabrielle Union for successfully leading such a talented cast, and Raven Goodwin for becoming Sandra Bland and all the other nameless people who have been hurt or killed by those who swore to protect them.

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Yes, that’s what I’m calling tonight’s episode because there was so many truths.  It started with that tender moment when MJ was tryna protect her niece.  MJ is always saving her family, so tonight was no exception.  The family wants Patrick to get his act together, and as a recovering addict, to get off them prescription drugs.  In the meantime, they are keeping his daughter away from him to shield her from the situation.  But kids are smart, especially nowadays with access to the Innanets and social media, so of course, that baby asked if her daddy was back on drugs.  MJ, again trying to protect that baby’s innocence, told her no.

We also got to see firsthand what happens when parents don’t let their kids grow up.  This is such a relevant topic because in my day, as a woman of a particular age, kids left home when they turned 18 and for the most part never looked back because their parents told their asses not to.  In other words, don’t even THINK about coming back home.  We had to hit it and sink or swim.  Well I think we felt bad about that and must have vowed to let our kids stay home and lay up on us as long as they want to because nowadays, it is pretty common for kids to graduate college and return home to Mom and Dad.  When Mom and Dad should be enjoying retirement or life as empty-nesters.  Tonight’s episode was all about how Mom and Dad were forever providing that safety net and covering for their kids fugg-ups and whantnots, and as a result, their kids had drained them dry and were still hanging around with their hands out.  And largely ungrateful.

Shaft apologized to MJ’s mama…saying they should have sold the house and traveled more…let their kids figure sheeit out.  And Niecy and the other son were ear hustling on the other side of the bedroom door.  They seemed to feel bad, but I notice nobody left either.  SMH.

Tonight’s episode also shows something you rarely see portrayed in the media – a Black father going through hell and high water to get to his child.  I damn near cried cuz it made ME miss something I never had.  Blessedly, my husband is a great father to our little girl, and hopefully, she will never have to yearn for his love.  Not only did I yearn for a daddy’s love…but I yearned to know his identity when I was growing up.  But this ain’t about me, and to hear more about that, you gotta get my book.

MJ is revamping Talk Back, and got her a think tank with erry race/gender/age group represented – she got her a black girl, an Asian man, a Black man, a white male producer…mostly younger so they can reach the youth.  She ain’t have nobody old tho’ and that’s where CeCe comes in. Y’all know that thane always showin’ up at MJ’s house or job.  I thought after MJ made that last payment, CeCe would move around and gon’ bout her bidness.  But I think CeCe knows GOD is still in the blessing bidness, and MJ’s income is CeCe’s blessing, so in the words of Celie’s sister (The Color Purple), nothin’ can keep her (CeCe) from it.  That thane even spoke some ol’ nasty sexual innuendo stuff to MJ, talmbout when she get on her knees it ain’t always for praying.  Just nasty for no good reason.

Next week is the season finale…and I don’t know what I’m gon’ do without my friend in my head (Mary Jane).  This show is really well-written, isn’t afraid to tackle current issues, and has a stellar lead actress in Gabrielle Union (not just saying this cuz she retweets me on the regular either) and cast in place.  Next week, Mara Brock Akil nem address the issue of #BlackLivesMatter in the same vein of Sandra Bland.  It’s going to be heavy…I might need some wine.

And here was yet another episode without Mark.  I mean he ain’t called, sent a text nor an email.  I don’t even think he has updated his Facebook status or logged into his Instagram.  My guess is Mark might be gon’ on home to glo-ray.

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So if you think RHOA fell off when Lanethia (NeNe) Leakes left or that the drama has simmered down, you might be just a lil bit wrong.  Yesterday was the continuation of the 3 hour tour that Kenya “Gilligan” Moore put together for the ladies.  In the first installment, Cynthia and Porsha brought “friends” to the gathering.  Now most of the time when you bring a “plus one” to an invitation only event, the plus ones know to hang in the back, not make eye contact, and just lay low.  Not in this case.  You had one tryna get on with Kandi and the other one comin’ for Kenya.  Atypical fallback behavior.

Now what you NOT gon’ do is get on a boat that Kenya done chartered and come for her, lest you end up walkin’ the plank and tossed overboard.  Kenya decided she had enough of that lady that nobody else knew (Porsha’s friend Shemea) and summoned the ship’s captain to take her back to the shore.  Somewhere in the mist of all that, Porsha was tryna defend her friend and said “whateva bee” to Cynthia.  Cynthia, who is still mad at Peter for grazing that lady’s titties in that bar he got in Charlotte, went off on Porsha who then told Cynthia she betta chill cuz she ain’t want her (Porsha) to get up.  I thought it had been squashed cuz Cynthia walked off.

With emotions runnin’ high and all that oil in errybody, Porsha went over to talk to Cynthia.  That was ill-advised but ain’t none of them housewives or randoms try to stop her.  I thought they were going to handle that situation like two adults and then remembered this is RHOA and foke don’t neva handle situations like that.  It escalated rather quickly and ‘fo I knowed it, they were both wavin’ they fangahs in others faces.  Cynthia told Porsha she might be dumb, but she ain’t that dumb…and Porsha told Cynthia she was fake as eff.  And then I believe Cynthia told Porsha to get her hand out of her face, pushed her hand, Porsha stood up ova Cynthia and promptly got a push kick to the pelvis.  I’m talmbout Cynthia put that size 13 embellished flat right in betwixt Porsha’s legs and gave it the ol’ heave ho.  Thank GOD Cynthia wasn’t wearin’ heels cuz Porsha would be sterile with a puncture wound to her uterus right now.  Chile, I ain’t neva seen two women get that crunk and turned up that quickly ova nothing!  I still don’t know what they were fightin’ about.

At this point, I could recap the rest of the show, but I don’t want to increase my word count unnecessarily.  There was a lot of discussion among the women about what happened and who was at fault.  Porsha showed her wounds (I believe most came from the Bravo security man who grabbed her and threw her down on a chair and got on top of her like Mistah fin to do his bidness on top of Celie).  At the end, the other ladies brought the two women together and they made up.  Until the next fight.

I just want to say to the two white people that might read this blog – what those women did is not indicative of my race as a whole.  We don’t just jump on each other for nothin’…and most of us are capable of using our words.  Porsha might have an anger management problem cuz that thane will fight anybody (see Kenya two seasons ago) and Cynthia…well I want to give her some slack cuz her husband out there bad in them streets.  I just don’t want y’all to think that erry black woman is loud, ghetto, and ready to act a fool on water or dry land.  Now we might cuss you out or make you feel beat the hayle up, but we ain’t hardly grown women out here fightin’.

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Because Bay Bay….even tho’ she sprung off that lil white man, she made that thane take all kinds of tests (spelling, blood, driving, vision, hearing, etc.) before she let him dry grind with her with they clothes off!  I’m talmbout she drew blood, inserted an IV, swabbed his mouth, and gave him a PET Scan!  And that is why I cut for Mary Jane.  Even tho’ she ain’t shame to get it in no matter if it’s cuddy buddy or “something new”, she is about protecting hers, safe sex and all of that.  And this on World Aids Day!  I love how the show deals with relevant topics that are current and doesn’t shy away from controversy.

Even when she talked about stereotypical stuff as it related to knowin’ that lil white man carnally.  “It’s Pink” will never again hold the same meaning for me that it used to.  And I love the color pink, but I digress.

CeCe was back tonight…and MJ gave her the final extortion payment. You could tell CeCe been in the game for a while because she was able to tell how many bills was in that envelope just by weighing it in her hand.  Just when you thought you wouldn’t see her no mo’, she had scaled MJ’s fence again and was back peerin’ through her windows and waitin’ to give MJ some unsolicited advice.  And yes she knew MJ had let her ancestors down by getting it in with that man. Imma need MJ to get rid of some of them windows, buy some curtains or some blinds or something.

CeCe let MJ know it was okay to keep working at them people’s station, because MJ was feelin’ some kinda way.  She had gone to speak at an HBCU (shoulda gone to speak at a white school cuz y’all know Black foke be hard on perceived sell-outs) and they roasted her after she told them she had “bought in”.  I know how MJ felt when she was all conflicted bout what to do.  Been there and didn’t wanna be there but.. oh LAWD.. the coins!  The coins were too good!  And then I had a baby, and all that stuff ain’t matter no’ mo.  Just like Kara, I wanna do my work, go home, cash my check and spend time with my family.

MJ’s brother (Patrick) is taking prescription pills and his recoverin’ addict baby mama was able to figga it out pretty quickly.  She took the bus to MJ’s job and promptly got roasted over the coals.  If I was her, I’da flipped over MJ’s desk or rustled some of her papers up or something cuz MJ ain’t have to be that cold to that lady.  She is pert near MJ’s sister-in-law.

She actually did get through to MJ though and MJ staged a surprise intervention (errybody was there ‘ceptin’ CeCe cuz she had to close up the booksto’ and Niecy cuz she was with her kids) and Shaft and Shug Avery let Patrick have it.  It was just like a scene outta Jungle Fever with Patrick as Gator ‘ceptin’ Patrick ain’t smoked up nobody’s tv.

Next week is the season finale.  MJ’s parents have taken Patrick’s daughter with Patrick vowin’ to go to hayle and back to have her with him.  Not sure where this is going…or where Mark is (still in them people’s warzone), but best believe I will be watching….

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