I almost titled this recap “Jake Be Killing EVERYBODY” but since we sorta already know he has murderous tendencies, I thought I would go with the REAL shocker of the night (spoiler coming so if you haven’t seen it, stop reading here) – Daddy Pope got a BOSS, Chile!  And this on the heels of “International Women’s Day” and “Day Without A Woman”.  I bet he wanted to opt for the latter after that mystery lady hemmed him up.  But before we get into that, let’s talk about what happened before. I’ll try to make it short and sweet because this almost sleep apnea I got won’t let me be great for long.

It started off with Sally Langston and that bootleg talk show she got.  I swear she will never EVER be prosecuted for killing her husband with a letter opener.  Or was it a steak knife or scissors? I forget.  She was calling Cyrus a murderer…ain’t that the pot?  Anyway, we got to see a little bit more of Jake’s relationship with his wife, Vanessa.  She was all about power and dry grindin’ with Jake, until she realized Jake was holding something back from her.  She thought for sure it was Liv, so she confronted Miss Pope.

I guess Vanessa must have thought she was confronting Becky with the Good Hair and not Livvie with the natural hair that is flat ironed because she CAME for Liv (pretty much called her a tramp, a mistress AND a thot) before Liv backed her into a wall (lit’rally AND fig’ratively).  She told Vanessa not to come for her unless she sends an Uber for her.  Vanessa was all over the place after and had got caught out there bad in them streets drunk with some lil young side dude.  Luckily Quinn nem found her before the media did because Jake is still trying to be Vice President now that Mellie has a good chance at being POTUS.  And a VP’s wife can’t be out there canoodlin’ and cavortin’ with some strange dude that works as a waiter at Chili’s.

After some digging, Liv, Quinn, and Huck found out that Jake was behind that house being blown up with  the campaign worker in it.  After he lost the election, he left to go get some fresh air or something.  Daddy Pope rolled up on him and gave him orders to kill the girl.  Cuz you know Daddy Pope is ALWAYS behind some treachery and several felonies.  Liv was trying to uncover more dirt while Vanessa (who Mellie had gotten all the way together with her pep talk on how to be a Vice President’s wife) and Jake were being interviewed by Sally Langston.  Jake figured it out of course and gave Liv a piece of paper that left her speechless.  In the next scene, we saw her bustin’ up in the Smithsonian where her daddy is still holding on to that fake arse job he got as a curator.  I swear Smithsonian just wasting money with him on the payroll.  He has the same bones in there every episode and they ain’t neva put together.  But I digress.

The piece of paper showed that money had been wired to Tom Larson’s account from Liv’s bank account, basically implicating her in the framing of Cyrus for Frankie Vargas’ murder.  Now Daddy Pope does  a LOT of dirt, but he genuinely looked SHOOK after Liv’s revelation/accusation/allegation.  That’s when he went to HIS boss’s office.  That’s right…Rowan got a BOSS.  A girl Boss.  He wanted to know why Liv was tied to what happened with the whole bank account paper trail.  Mystery woman told him she is the one who asks the questions and she needed insurance to ensure that Liv didn’t get try to get Cyrus out of prison.  Because if Liv does that, Liv is going down for playing a part in Vargas’ murder.  And Liv is too cute to be in prison with half her head braided & fightin’ for her cornbread.  That mystery lady went on to tell him that EVERY breath Liv takes is a gift from on high and she could easily get rid of her….and Daddy Pope too.  That it ain’t nothin’ to cut a beetch off.  Daddy Pope shut right up and went back to that museum so he could fake work on them dinosaur bones.

In the next scene, Jake finds Liv in a parking lot and makes her get in the car with him.  He tells her to be quiet when she tries to tell him she didn’t pay Tom Larson.  He takes her cellphone and discards it….and drives her out in the dark to a wooded area.  Chile, I just knew he was gon’ kill Liv cuz Jake be killing EVERYBODY.  And he had that look of killing all about his face and countenance.  Even Liv was looking nervous.  She didn’t want to get out of the car but he reminded her she lost control of the situation when she got in the car with him.  Bay Bay…my heart dropped because I knew KellyAnne Conway (my name for the mystery woman) had ordered a hit.  I started to breathe again when he made Liv go into a house in the woods where she found the campaign worker she thought had been blown up, alive and well…… And then I picked up my edges and stuck them back to the sides of my head.

Follow me on Twitter @soshaydee because I say some funny sheeit sometimes….