Empire Recap – Boom Boom Boom Boom..Bang Bang Bang Bang

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Yeah, that’s pretty much how I felt all night.  Couldn’t get that awful song outta my head.  Freda sounded fine on the record…but Lucious?  It was reminiscent of him playin’ DJ in Hustle and Flow.  I wasn’t convinced he was a rapper then, and still ain’t now.

Empire didn’t give me much tonight, but still wanted to blog to keep this page active.  Cookie was still layin’ with that man…not knowin’ he was behind the snatchin’ of Hakeem and the shakedown of Lyon Dynasty.  She should figga somethin’ ain’t quite right bout that man – he just happened to pop up when she needed him AND he is acting hella thirsty.  Ain’t no way somebody that fine should be that available where they are able to go multiple rounds with you in YO’ bed.  I’d be like ‘ain’t you got somewhere to be?’  And then when he DID leave, she was walkin’ down the street and he popped up on her outta nowhere.  That’s stalker behavior.

Hakeem’s girl group made their debut.  One of the background girls tried to steal the spotlight from the girl Hakeem is lustin’ after, so Tawanna (yes Hakeem’s ex) had to give her some tips on walking, sashayin’, dancin’, standing up straight, chewing gum, etc.  She ended her lessons with a public sangin’ session of I Will Survive in Spanish.  Okay..whatever.

Lucious sent Andre back to the deputy mayor to fix something or nother.  Basically he was tryna send him back into that lady’s bed, knowin’ that Andre JUST got saved.  The devil is a lie, though, Hupp Glo-Ray *in my Aunt Esther voice”, cuz e’en though Andre surely did go over to that lady office and she mounted him and whatnot, he did not have sexual relations with that woman.  Instead he handled the situation like a boss and went back to his wife, who ain’t pulled her bib out all season.  But she is pregnant so she prolly ain’t feelin’ all that freaky sheeit she did last season.

Speaking of freaky sneaky, Lucious and KD Lang (Marisa Tomei) are teamed up not only in the boardroom but also in the bedroom.  They found a playthane at the club and took her home.  But KD Lang really ain’t want her..she wanted whoever she was on the phone with.  Bay Bay…her mascara was so runny while she was cryin’, she looked like a raccoon bout the eyes.  And that woman they found at them people’s club was still gon’ do her.  Chile please…I’da got up outta that nasty menage a’ trois situation and took a Uber home.

There were flashbacks of Lucious mama, played brilliantly again by Kelly Rowland, and then Lucious got a gun just like his mama had years ago, put one in the chamber and spun it around for that song.  And there that song was again. Boom Boom Boom Boom.  Bang Bang Bang Bang.  Tragic.

Lawd please let Vivica AND 50 cent both come on this show next week.  I need more drama.  Empire gotta gimme somethin’ for this blog.  I know it’s dry tonight, and I apologize.  It’s all ova the place just like Empire was with nothin’ really going together, including plot and storyline.  My friend B said it best – we want the Lyon family to be together even if they ain’t together.  That’s when they are at their best.  Here’s hoping they pull it together by next episode.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

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