I guess I forgot to recap Scandal last week.  Y’all know I was still tiyad as all outdoors from JSU’s homecoming.  That thane was EPIC!

Scandal returns tomorrow, but I need to say SOMETHIN’ bout what happened last Thursday.  Chile…Mellie was ON ONE.  She dressed Fitz DOWN for what he did to her.  Cuz she damn sure took SEVERAL for the team – ‘memba how ol’ Fitz (Fitz daddy) got on top of her and did his bidness?  And then how she basically had to let Fitz “hoe” lay up in his house and couldn’t say nothing?  And then finally when she got her just a lil bit a love, they shot up the VP with somethin’ that gave his arse a stroke?  Yes, Hunty – Mellie been THROUGH somethin’ with Fitz arse!

I thought I’d be really happy when Fitz and Liv FINALLY got together, but I wasn’t and ain’t.  And then they were talmbout getting married in a quickie ceremony cuz Liv pregnant – kidding – she ain’t wanna testify and you know a spouse cain’t be forced to do so.  I ain’t want that to happen cuz I ain’t have sheeit to wear to they nuptials!  Mellie let Liv have a little bit too.

Somebody tried to kill Daddy Pope in prison, and you know Daddy Pope BEEN killin’ whole busloads of people so he turnt the tables quick.  After he kilt that prison guard, he knew he couldn’t go back to gen pop, so he faked arrythmias so he could stay in the infirmary.  I love me some Daddy Pope like them people at In Living Color used to love them some Miss Jankins BUT I couldn’t help but wonder how awesome it would have been if he had given himself an actual heartache playing games.

Of course, he called Liv collect from prison to ask for help.  Liv did him the same way he did her when she got kidnapped – she told that thane she was out fishin’ & she ain’t have no damn daddy.  I think she may have even said Bye Rowan-isha.  She did end up coming to see him, and he told her he could make all those congressional impeachment hearings against Fitz go away if she just got him outta them people jail.  I was like ‘no way they gon’ let a Black man outta prison when he done killed a whole busload of people AND a dog’.

Liv went to Mellie, and Mellie didn’t want nothin’ to do with it at first cuz she still feelin’ guilty over all them people dyin’ on that Greyhound.  And then she realized, she needed Liv to do something for her – make her POTUS.  Yasss Mellie – get yo’ position, yo coins, and a right smart of my edges with all of that!  She tweeted me so you know I’m indebted to her for at least this week’s blog.

Jake from State Farm realized his wife was hired to take out Rowan and was behind the attempted shanking.  He told her he wanted in because he remembered when Rowan had him stabbed several times in the upper torso.  He went to meet her and thought she was sitting on that bench…but she was actually already dead cuz Rowan had done got out.  You know he was back to his killing ways soon as he ditched that orange jumpsuit.  Scandal is just more fun with him!

Now Liv gotta deal with her daddy being out, Fitz AND Mellie.  She shoulda just stayed with Jake from State Farm or moved to Vermont.  Or stayed with that ol’ fine arse senator.  I swear Liv done had mo’ fine men in 5 seasons than my black arse done had in a lifetime…..

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