HTGAWM Recap – LAWD, This Finale Snatched My Life, All My Edges and My Crown

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Tonight was the two-hour finale of HTGAWM.  I guess I was heavy on them people’s wine last week cuz I was confused as hayle at 8 o’ clock when Liv and Huck and Fitz nem didn’t show up on my tv.  I had pretty much given my daughter (she’s 5) a ‘ho bath’ tryin’ not to miss Scandal and it didn’t even come on.  Lawd…I hope she forgives me.

I loves Shonda Rhimes’ shows….Lawd knows I do (in my Ol’ Sophia from The Color Purple voice) but when I heard them say two hours…I was thinkin’ bout DVR’ing so I could watch it in sections.  Y’all know I got a short attention span.  It took me bout 2 years to watch all of that Titanic movie.  And then I was tellin’ foke how good it was and they were like yeah…it was good, back in 1997 when it first came out.  But I digress..which I did a lot durin’ tonight’s show.  There was no Ms Cicely Tyson smotherin’ chicken and cookin’ greens and spillin’ fam’ly secrets to the white foke to hold my attention, but there was a lot going on.  A hayle of a whole lot.  This might be shorter than my normal recaps just cuz I’m already strugglin’ to remember and I’m still slightly confused.  Plus, the lights was back off on the set for a lot of the show.

Tonight was to be the night that we found out who kilt Liza.  But not before Annalise, in a bouncy new wig with scalp realness, was back in court tryin’ a case.  This case was bout a priest on priest crime, in the sanctuary of all places, that involved an incense decanter.  The accused priest finally said he killed the other priest because the other priest was molesting a boy that the killer priest had befriended.  Now you know Annalise will tell all kindsa lies to get her clients off, so she was prepared to throw the priest’s lady friend/would-be bae under the bus.  The lady friend testified that she was with the killer priest at the time of the murder..they had wine…and she made the moves on him.  The killer priest couldn’t take it anymore (apparently the lady friend/would-be bae had stalker tendencies), and stood up and confessed to the murder and pretty much begged for life in prison to get away from the lady friend.  She told him she loved him and he said he didn’t love her and don’t even think about visitin’ or givin’ him no money for commissary.  Damn.  You done turnt a man off real bad when he chooses solitary confinement and fightin’ for his conebread in them people’s prison yard ova you.

The students were doin’ what they always do…together in them people’s court house, at Annalise’s house….in the hallways…at bars…back at the water tower, etc.  Everywhere but the damn ‘lie-berry’ which further supports my theory that they should all get Fs.  They done kilt somebody and couldn’t even burn up the body right.  And Annalise pretty much gave them a roadmap on how to do it.  Leavin’ rings and fanger and foot prints and sheeit at the site.  Wes should get TWO Fs.  He don’t even know that Rebecca girl but done fell in love with her.  Prolly was a virgin and she turned him out cuz she look weird and freaky.  Wes and Laurel started investigating Rebecca cuz they started feelin’ like she did it especially when they found out she had that one dude committed to the mental institution.  They finally decided to confront her, but of course, they had to go get the 10 other co-conspirators to be a part of it.  I hollered when Annalise got there and found out they had taped Rebecca up like how Huck be doin’ foke on Scandal.  Well at least she wasn’t nekkid and they ain’t use a drill.

Annalise decided to have a mock court where they could present the evidence that proved Rebecca killed Liza.  But every time they presented something, Annalise or Rebecca would shoot it down.  Further provin’ that they all need Fs.  They stuck ol’ girl in the basement, and Annalise realized she had been let out at some point and had gotten away.  I was pretty sure Wes let her out..that she agreed to do something nasty with him and he had gotten played, but he said he ain’t do it.

Nate had been denied bail..so he was still in them people’s prison behind Annalise.  I bet he cursed the day he had her on top of that desk.  He passed by her in the hallway and didn’t even look her way.  Annalise was still tryna figga out why he hadn’t followed her instructions of firing his attorney so she had Frank do some more dirt (he was the one that planted the ring and fangerprints to frame Nate a couple of episodes ago).  Somebody stepped into Nate’s cell and attacked him, and the next time we saw Nate, he was beat up like Ray J.  I’m talmbout he had been boxed so bad all about the head and ears, he was no longer cute or fine.  Lawd..I was so mad at Annalise, I was ready to go down to them people’s prison and put money on Nate’s books.  And call the National Bar Association on Annalise.

All durin’ tonight’s show, they had been doin’ flashbacks with Lila and Rebecca and Sam and that night when everything happened, buildin’ up to who killed Liza.  To the point where I had been watching for bout 110 minutes and still ain’t know who killed Liza.  Hayle I was startin’ to think I actually killed Liza.  And then in the last 8 minutes of the show, Shonda Rhimes snatched my life and all my edges and a right smart of my crown!  Liza was on the roof on the phone with Sam tellin’ him she was going to just go away..and he came to talk to her.  This was AFTER she went to Sam’s house to tell Annalise but didn’t get to do so because Bonnie blocked her, sent her home and lied to Annalise.  Sam arrived to the rooftop and Liza told him she was keeping the baby.  He told her he no longer loved Annalise but loved her (Liza) and he was going to tell Annalise right then.  He left and went to a phone booth (they still have those?  When is this show set again?) and called somebody and said ‘you need to do what we talked about..you owe me’.  At that moment, hands went around Liza’s neck and they were attached to that ol’ douchy Frank!  That thang kills and frames ERRYBODY!  I had no idea.  He choked her all the way out and then dumped her body in the water tower.  So Rebecca told the truth about findin’ her there dead already.  Rebecca was wet because Griffin (the boyfriend) came up on the roof lookin’ for Liza and Rebecca figured he would think she killed Liza so Rebecca hid in the water tower.

Annalise was tryna convince Wes that Sam killed Lila so they could all move on and Wes could finally get outta her damn class.  She also told him they would find Rebecca who had supposedly run off.  Wes left, and then Annalise went back to the basement where Frank was.  Frank, however, was not alone, cuz the camera panned down and I’ll be damn if Rebecca wasn’t layin there dead.  Surprisingly, I ain’t feel bad for her.  She’d slept with Liza’s man..and then called Liza from her man’s phone so Liza could “catch” her, and gave that man that bad angel dust and made him go crazy..and she took Wes’ virginity and caused him to kill Sam, settin’ all this sheeit into motion.  She shoulda been dead several episodes ago honestly.  And that’s how it ended.  But we know they will be back next season, which will likely be about How To Get Away With Rebecca’s Murder.

There was some other stuff – Nate finally called the number on that piece of paper Annalise gave him; the gay student was tryna get with a new guy who asked him to take a HIV test (the new guy ended up with HIV even though he appeared to be the one who was always careful); we learned some new gay lingo (bottom bunk/top bunk, etc.); and the black female student had dinner with Lynn Whitfield and told her she would not be marryin’ Lynn’s son cuz he’s gay and the gay son doesn’t love her but she loves herself.  Yes, girl, yes.

That’s all I remember and I done got tired.  Damn you Shonda Rhimes.  You done took up 2 hours of my Thursday night not includin’ this blog and I am still confused.  And angry.  And shocked.  And just downright feelin’ some type of way.  But because you done got me hooked, I will be back for the next season.  I’m hopin’ y’all get some lights on that set in the meantime…

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

HTGAWM

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