Empire Recap – And That, Folks, Is How The Cookie Crumbles…


Yasssss!  I am still over here smokin’ an imaginary Newpote and drankin’ some brown likka behind what happened on Empire tonight, Chile!  I knew it was gon’ be just a matter of time fo that Cookie crumbled under Lucious spell and tonight was the night!  But before we get all up in that (pun intended), let’s do a quick recap of what else happened.

Raven Simone ended up leavin’ that lil girl in the elevator.  Y’all know the lil girl that is “supposably” Jamal’s.  Even though his marriage to ol’ girl was a sham, he apparently got drunk one night and hit that, if only to confirm that he ain’t really want that. So there is a chance that is his chile.  Jamal not claimin’ Dora on them people’s tv interview and now a possible chile suppote obligation was just too much to handle for his ol’ moody arse stewed chicken makin’ boyfriend (Dora).  Dora packed up her lil backpack, consulted “The Map” and got the hayle outta dodge.  Jamal actually cried when Dora got in them people’s cab.  I felt for him cuz I ain’t neva had a man that could stew and fry chicken real good but if’n I did, I’m sure I’d be sad to see they arse go too.  Lucious said he was happy that Dora had vamanos’d but felt bad that his son felt sad.  I love the fleeting moments where Lucious shows his softer side.

Tonight was all about the Empire showcase, where Lucious was going to put on a show for the investors and get them to help him get the IPO done.  Courtney Love was all set to perform when Anika had to throw salt (and Mollies) in the game by spikin’ her coffee so she would be too high to perform.  I didn’t feel bad for Courtney because when you been doin’ drugs that long (in character and out o’ character) you should know better than leavin’ yo’ drank unattended in a club setting.  Needless to say, Cookie was hot because she had vouched for Courtney Love, and Lucious had put his faith in Cookie about Courtney performing.  Which is why Anika was upset in the first place – Boo Boo Kitty is supposably over artist development but her boo still cuttin’ for Cookie.

Before the showcase, Lucious was arguin’ with Cookie and collapsed…which is really THE ONLY WAY he can win in a fight against Cookie.  He was on the stretcher when both his wife to be (or soon to be ex-wife, as Cookie put it *snicker*) and his ex-wife (Cookie) tried to climb up in them people’s ambulance with him.  He couldn’t even talk and had to make a choice between the two.  He looked like he wanted Cookie to come in the ambalanch but begrudgingly picked his fiancee’.  Good thang too..cuz I could see Cookie goin’ Ike Turner up in there with that bad fur coat on.  I could see her all in Lucious ear talmbout “we gotta get this money and you laid out here on this stretcher…beetch if you die, Imma kill you”.

At the showcase, Jamal and Hakeem killed their joint performance, makin’ all the investors happy.  Just as Lucious was s’posed to go out to give a speech, he got the shakes and his voice failed.  Anika and Andre (the oldest son) both wanted to give the speech in his absence, but Lucious begged Cookie to go do it because he knew she would inspire and make foke understand what his dream for the company meant so they would come up off them coins.  Cookie attempted to read the teleprompter but it’s unclear if she couldn’t see the teleprompter or if she ain’t that good at reading.  She finally said ‘bump this’ and just spoke from her heart and the crowd ate it up…ghetto fabulousness and all.  Lucious was backstage watching and said “I love you Cookie” sitting right next to Anika who looked ready to fight somebody.

Anika ended up havin’ to go to Chicago for somethin’ or nother right after the showcase, and the family returned home.  Once home, Lucious told them about his illness and the oldest son freaked the hayle out.  I’m talmbout total breakdown sittin’ in the shower with all his clothes on type sheeit.  That thang crazier than a Betsey bug!  I think his wife be withholdin’ his meds so she can control his arse.

In the next scene, we see Lucious and his babymama Cookie having a drink together (it looked like that Yak.  And is Lucious even supposed to be drankin’ takin’ all them meds and treatments?) with soft music playing in the background.  The song was by Lucious, written for Cookie.  She told him he has to beat this disease cuz she can’t lose him again.  He said “I’m here now..” and asks her to dance with him.  And right then, you know somebody’s drawls are gonna end up off before this episode is done, and some dry grindin’ will commence.  It didn’t take long.  He saw them Cookie Cakes the last episode and had been thankin’ bout takin’ a bite erry since.  Next thing you know he had picked her up and thrown her in the bed (yep..the same bed he be layin’ up next to Boo Boo Kitty in) and shoes, shirts and drawls went ta flyin’.

You know what happened next.  Anika for some unexplained reason came home instead of flyin’ to Chicago.  Came in and heard the soft music playin’ and saw the two Cognac glasses, one with a Wet and Wild lipstick print.  She called out to Lucious and then followed the scent of sex that was obviously in the air to the bedroom where at least for that moment, Lucious’ ALS had been cured and he was busy blowin’ Cookie’s back all the way out.  Anika watched for like a second too long and just closed the door.  I was rather surprised by her reaction.  I don’t understand where they keep getting these broads from that see they man dry grindin’ with another woman and they just leave.  Where they do THAT at?  She was supposed to go to her closet, pull out a pistol like Angela in that Tyler Perry movie and run up in that bedroom cappin’ and snatchin’ up foke and turnin’ over beds and nightstands and sheeit.

I believe in karma though and Boo Boo Kitty got back just what she gave.  She ain’t have to drop a Molly in Courtney Love’s drank.  That was Cookie’s artist.  So I can see why Cookie fell into bed with her man.  Oh well…payback is a lingerie-clad big booty bad beetch by the name of Cookie!  Get well soon Ray J!

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark


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