RHOA Recap – Apollo Please! Just Go To Them People’s Prison Already!

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Yeah, that title is exactly how I feel.  It’s been a while since these episodes filmed, so thankfully, Apollo is already serving his sentence.  Cause they are draggin’ this thang out for the ENTIRE season.  And I ain’t hardly mad at Bravo.  The storylines this season are as scarce as a 40 year old virgin and as dry as dust.  I just watched tonight because I was too lazy to change the channel.  Claudia Jordan is good for the show, but even her one-liners can’t save me from yawning and being bored.

Kandi’s tour showcasin’ that lil high school musical and play (A Mother’s Love) she put together got cancelled due to — get this– low ticket sales.  See, if’n Kandi was my FB friend or even read this blog, she would have KNOWN not to take that show on the road.  We only watched what we saw of it because we were FORCED into it by Bravo.  Nobody wanted to see her and Todd’s lil relationship with her mean arse Mama, Miss Joyce, play out on a stage, and damn sure wasn’t gon’ pay for it.  Now, I ain’t gon’ lie.  I mighta gone to the play just to see Eddie Levert and that lady who sang As We Lay.  Lawd, As We Lay used to be my JAM back in the day but I digress.  BUT the tickets woulda needed to be free or two for one.  I’m sorry Kandi…I love you..you are an EXCELLENT business woman…but nobody cares bout you, Todd, Mama Joyce, Riley, Aunt Bertha and nem like that.  Let this be a lesson.  Don’t be tryna branch out to doin’ plays.  Leave that to the Tyler Perrys of the world.

Rickey Smiley and Dish Nation and nem threw a bash for Porsha, welcoming her to the show.  She is actually good on Dish Nation since most of the topics are limited to current pop culture/events.  As long as they don’t have a Black History show or event with her in speaking role, she will be good in this role.  Claudia decided she was attending even though she came for Porsha on that bus when they were in Puerto Rico.  Talmbout Porsha datin’ the Prince of Zamunda, and the Prince married, and Porsha dry grindin’ with him for all kinds of handbags and cars.  I ain’t mad at Porsha.  It ain’t trickin’ if you got it. Plus, who buying that Naked hair line sheeit she done produced?  Raise yo’ hand if you done bought a bag.  Exactly.  Derek J came to fit Claudia for a wig for the party, and you know he had on some them tight fittin’ pumps ova them fat flat arse feet he got.  Them thangs looked like stuffed sausages in them shoes.

At the party, Claudia tried to talk to Porsha but Porsha wasn’t havin’ it.  They exchanged words and it was over.  Was it wrong that I wanted them to fight just a lil bit?  They both did the right thing though – don’t bring crazy to your job.  Rickey Smiley (their boss) was there.  It’s just like they say about sleepin’ with foke at the job – don’t lay yo’ meat where you make yo’ bread.  Same thang.

Kenya met with Roger Bobb.  Yes, apparently you gotta say his whole name together like that.  I get sooo tired when they say Roger Bobb a lot, and tonight was no exception, ‘ceptin’ it was Kenya.  She pitched a movie to him and I hope she was being funny.  Cuz if not, with the storyline she was tryna sell, I can see why her career as an actor/director/producer stalled.  And that is no shade, cuz y’all know I cut for Miss College Park Kenya Moore.  Y’all know I demoted her and pushed her crown to one side since she done got on RHOA.  I was starting to wonder if this was ruinin’ her brand and her legacy, but she did just appear on Celebrity Apprentice, so maybe it will be good for her.  I hope she is able to parlay it into something that will give her even more success.  Roger Bobb decided he ain’t have time for Miss USA and her twirl-nanigans so she had to call her ol’ faithful, Brandon.  Y’all remember Brandon?  He was her lil friend that got the brakes and the tires beat off him by Apollo at Nene’s ol’ raggely party.

And finally, we get to the meat of this episode – Apollo and Phae Phae’s drama.  Apollo went to an attorney to talk about visitation with his kids in prison and to see if Phae had filed for divorce (she hadn’t).  And you know he went to see that same ol’ attorney that errybody done used – Greg, NeNe, Kandi, Todd, Mama Joyce, Riley, Aunt Bertha, Porsha, Kordell, Peter, Cynthia, Cynthia mama, etc.  Damn, does Atlanta not have any other divorce attorneys?  They also showed Phaedra talmbout Apollo and how she is fearing for her life.  Said that that thang had punched holes in all the walls upstairs and errythang.  And I was thinking ‘and you still staying in that house with him?’  Phaedra must have a lot of book sense, cuz she damn sure ain’t got no common sense.  Apollo is a CRIMINAL.  A criminal with a CONVICTION who is headed back to PRISON.  For almost a decade.  We will change Presidents twice while he locked up in them people’s pen.  In other words, he ain’t got NOTHING to lose!  You don’t hang around foke like that…cuz like yo mama said, if he does decide to kill you and injure Mr. President and Mr. Secretary of The Treasury, that is just mo’ time added to the time he already GOT.  I am surprised she is still up in that house.  Bay Bay…I would be in Barbados…or Cabo somewhere livin’ under an assumed name with Mr. President and Mr. Ambassador to the Caribbean.  I would come back after that kneegro was safely in prison.

She met with Quad and her hubby (Married to Medicine) so the hubby could give her some advice on what to do about their sons.  Should she take them to prison and let them put they lil hands up to the glass to Apollo’s hands and let them pick up that germ-filled phone that errybody uses to talk to him?  What does she tell them?  Friends have said she should say Apollo’s in camp…yeah, he in camp alright.  Prison camp.  Ol’ dude gave her a decent answer (for him to be a surgeon and not a licensed therapist but I digress) – tell him he broke an adult law and he is an adult time-out.  Definitely something the boys can understand.  And don’t keep them kids from him – they will resent her for that later.  And I’m with that ol’ raggely attorney when he said when you marry somebody with the kinda past Apollo had, fresh outta prison, you have to wonder if they will go back.  She thought about it and took a risk to have two babies with this man in rapid succession like she feared her eggs spoilin’ or something, so she gets what she gets.  52% of prisoners return to prison after they get out.  I just googled that.  Phaedra is a DEFENSE attorney so she HAD to know what she was getting into.  I still feel sorry for those boys though.  One of these days, Imma write Apollo a letter AND send him some squares or a couple dollars for prison commissary.  I’ll let y’all know if he writes back.  Lawd knows, he got TIME to write back.  rhoa-season-7-cast

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