Empire Recap – Lucious, You Want A Cookie?

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I titled this recap that because I can tell that Lucious gon’ end up hittin’ that.  He was really watchin’ Cookie’s booty errytime she sashayed away tonight; stared at her just a wee bit too long; and was doin’ all kindsa flirtin’.  Boo Boo Kitty betta stop lettin’ Cookie run all up and through her house all times of the day and night.  I’m just sayin’.  Cookie actin’ all familiar and sheeit like that’s her house. Next thang you know, she will be wearin’ Boo Boo Kitty’s lingerie sets and layin’ up in her bed.  And after that, it won’t be long fo’ Boo Boo Kitty is scratchin’ out Cookie’s head and bathin’ her the way Celie used to have to do Mistah’s woman, Shug Avery.  Keep yo’ eyes open Anika!  You may really need to disturb them pearls wayyy sooner than you think.

Tonight’s show didn’t have a lot of wow moments, so this will be quick.  Plus, I’m tired from eatin’ up all them people’s food at Benihana’s (or Venihana’s as my 5 year old likes to say it).  And I had a Mai Tai so I’m gon’ try to remember what happened as best as can, seein’ as I just watched the episode.

Cookie has stopped wearin’ the full length furs and gone to wearin’ mink stoles.  It take a certain kinda woman to wear a mink stole (especially a plum-colored one).  You don’t wanna cross a woman wearin’ a mink stole cuz she usually got a razor in her purse or in her bra.  And she will go to dicin’ as soon as you get on her bad side.  That’s Cookie.  That thang also rocked a Chanel tonight.  And just like clockwork, Lucious was havin’ another private meetin’ and her arse showed right up.  I am still convinced she got a trackin’ device on him or in them boardrooms he be in cuz she be comin’ outta nowhere with her “assistant” who be lookin’ like a fake arse Fantasia, without the Idol.  Cookie wanted a bigger office, cuz Lucious had stuck her up on the 13th flo’ next to accounting.

She ended up agreein’ to manage Hakeem’s (the younger son..I done finally learnt his name!) girlfriend’s career, which upset Anika (Boo Boo Kitty – I’m two for two, cuz I done learned her name too).  Cookie keeps tryna get close to Hakeem and build a relationship with him but he is still mad at her.  He really missed his mom and is putting on this hard exterior to shield himself from being hurt I think.  I also think that’s part of the reason why he was in them people’s tub tonight bathin’ with Naomi Campbell.  Something was just so wrong with that cuz Hakeem looks erry bit of 15, and Naomi is a woman of a certain age.  I ain’t that mad though cuz like I said befo’, she is still EVERYTHING and an icon (I don’t shade icons) but them modelin’ and runway gigs are prolly startin’ to dry up.  Even tho’ she will still be set cuz she got a VERY RICH (and not with that lil new money like what Nene Leakes got) boyfriend.

Hakeem’s new lil girlfriend caught them in the tub and there was no drama, which was surprisin’.  I expected her to throw a radio in that tub or cuss somebody out or somethin’ but she played it real cool.  Even when they performed together for the Teen Choice Awards nomination show.

Lucious was busy tryna sign a new artist, Titan.  Titan shot somebody after his performance at club and ended up in them people’s penitentiary. He has a contract with Lucious ol’ grimy manager at a competitor record company.  That guy threatened to dig up all of Lucious ol’ dirt and bury him with it if Lucious takes Empire public.  Lucious loves a good threat and visited Titan in solitary the next day, gave him some money and a cellphone so he could start recording for Empire.  Lucious 1 That Guy Who Played The Other Cop in New Jack City 0.  Speaking of New Jack City, “they” say Wesley Snipes was supposed to play Lucious.  I can see that especially with how Lucious shot Bunky down by the river in the moonlight.  But alas, Taraji P Henson told them she would only take the role if Terrance Howard was Lucious.

Tonight, Lucious old Anika that he has ALS and 3 years to live.  He was strugglin’ to shave so Anika told him to put his head back like Celie told Mistah in that movie, and she finished shaving him.  Betta her than Cookie cuz Cookie mighta slit his throat.

That was pretty much it.  There were no freaky bib scenes tonight…matta fact, I ain’t see that lil white woman for none of this episode.  Jamal was doin’ him (he cut himself off from his daddy’s money) in an ol’ Good Times-type apartment.  I’m tryna figga out what his boyfriend does.  Does he work?  Go to school?  All I ever see him doin’ is eatin’ and layin’ up with Jamal.  Waste of a character and a storyline.

Speaking of characters, they need to do better with Precious.  They goin’ to hayle for dressin’ that damn gul like that.  Next week looks interesting.  Somebody is out to make the Cookie crumble…

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

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