Celebrity Apprentice is sooo good this season. Trump might not be good at pickin’ out toupees with scalp realness but he damn sho’ put together a good mix of participants this time. Some say Kenya Mo’ is a lot to take, and yes, she is a HUGE personality. But she is PERFECT for this show. The right mix of brains and beauty, she is articulate in the boardroom and states her position without becoming overly emotional. She got a lot of business sense, and I think she is going to go far this season.
So tonight’s episode was the standard two hours with two people going home. I love that. No sense in dragging out ONE task for two hours and sending home one person. The first task was creating a health/fitness spread for Cosmo magazine. The men’s team jumped right in with Johnny Damon and his wife as the models for their “Love Your Selfie” campaign. T.O. came up with the final slogan after Juh-raldo (Geraldo) came up with the initial concept of using selfies. He (Juh-raldo) also took credit for inventing selfies. Now, I don’t know about that and don’t care enough to try to google or Wikipedia those “facts” but if Al Gore can create the Internet, then I guess his claim is plausible.
Juh-raldo also took off his shirt and pants for his selfie in the campaign and left me and a lot of the viewing public blind in the process. That thang gotta be errybit o’ 70, and though he didn’t look bad…it was sorta like seeing your granddaddy in his drawls. Not somethin’ you EVAH wanna do, not even for a lot of money.
On the girls side, Jamie Anderson (Olympic gold medalist) stepped up to be the project manager. I knew when they showed her with that blank look on her face during the initial planning meeting she’d end up losing and fiyah’ed. Any time you need a health/fitness model that looks good in workout clothes and got a killer body, and you got Kenya Moore, former Miss USA at your disposal and you don’t use her for that…well yeah, you deserve to everything you get including a loss and a pink slip. She actually picked Brandi Glanville (RHOBH) to be the model. And that made me mad cuz Brandi started givin’ excuses on why she couldn’t do sexy poses in a lil bit of clothin’. Talmbout she done had two kids and ain’t got abs. Talmbout she ain’t worked out in fi’ weeks. Talmbout she ain’t got no booty to tooch, while throwin’ shade at Kenya talmbout Kenya’s arse was sto-bought. Yeah, you got too many damn excuses…then you should keep your clothes on and do something else for the task like shopping (see Kate Gosselin’s role in EVERY challenge). I bet if they had given her a few Skinny Girl vodka tonics and surrounded her with a bunch of gay men, she’da took off all her clothes. Or if they’da threatened to bring in LeAnn Rimes (her ex-husband’s wife), she’da gotten nekkid.
So you guessed it, the men won. You gotta suck some kinda bad when you lose a Cosmopolitan magazine challenge to a group of men. Hayle, it’s a women’s mag! Jamie screwed up royally in her decision to bring back Kate Gosselin and Kenya Mo’ instead of bringing ol’ toxic arse Brandi Glanville back. Her indecisiveness and poor decision makin’ got her fiyah’ed. I don’t even wanna see her doin’ press tomar.
The next task was fundraising through selling wedding dresses. It pitted Ian Ziering (90210) and Juh-raldo against each other in a peein’ contest for who was gon’ be the head rooster in the henhouse. Shawn’s period musta still be on cuz she had a blank look on her face throughout most of the challenge. And then Brandi had a panic attack and had to leave. I swear I need medication between the two of them and they ailments! Trump mixed the teams up a little bit so you had diversity in the teams for a change. Kate Gosselin ended up on Juh-raldo’s team, and immediately concerned me when Juh-raldo asked her how much she had and she said 50,000. I was like um, Kate, he means money…not kids. The teams raised a ton of money, $600,000, but Juh-raldo beat Ian by $2,500! Ian brought back Johnny Damon and Terrell Owens. T.O. raised the least amount of money, which was surprising to me because he’s played on several NFL teams..you mean he couldn’t call none of his old QBs for a little bit of cash? I felt bad for him cuz that means he ain’t got no rich friends, and his old rich teammates done pretty much stopped talkin’ to him. He raised like $20 and that was pitiful. Hayle, I woulda gave him $50 and I don’t even know him. But, then I was wondering who he could call for money that he hasn’t already called. I mean he broke, “supposably” and behind on child suppote, so if he had anybody to call, he already made that call to raise money for his damn self.
So you guessed it..Trump had no choice but to cut him from the team. Damn…T.O. always being cut from a damn team! In this case, though, he handled it with the utmost class. He gained a lot of respect from me and his teammates on how he behaved during his stint on Celebrity Apprentice. I want to see him do well. Here’s hoping Trump…or somebody…recognizes that T.O. can be great with the right opportunity and gives him one. I want to see him be successful (just like Ian was saying but when did Ian become a motivational speaker? I thought he was a Chippendale dancer?) and not have to do a follow-up show with Iyanla Vanzant where she straddles him and rubs his back in a circle while sayin’ “Be-Love-Ed” and “Woo Woo Woo”.
Next week, Joan Rivers is on the show….in her last television appearance (series). I’m sure it’s going to make me break out the tissues….