RHOA Recap – Cynthia and Porsha Had a War of Words, and As Usual, Porsha Was Unarmed

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I will just say this and I feel bad for putting it out there in the universe – there ain’t a lot of stuff for me to blog about concernin’ The Real Housewives of Atlanta when Apollo or Kenya don’t play a central role or somebody ain’t fightin’.  Like for real, for real fighting.  Not that play fight that Cynthia and Porsha had at them people’s restaurant.  This is gon’ be quick cuz they ain’t gave me much material.  I will try to just hit the highlights.  (Lawd Jesus what is we gon’ do without Scandal?  What will become of this blog?).

I really like Todd for Kandi.  They make a cute couple.  However, I needed them to do a REAL meeting of their kids off camera.  Now I thought the stepsisters met each other during the wedding, but I have to deduce that it wasn’t a for real for real meeting.  Cuz Riley ain’t even get up when that gul came to the doe.  She ain’t even shift positions when the doe-bell rang.  Todd’s daughter is a cutie and so is Riley – they both look like their parents.  Riley definitely got somma Mama Joyce in her from the attitude and side eyes she was givin’ Todd’s daughter.  So Todd’s daughter done moved to Atlanta and in with her new stepsister.  Todd and Kandi were discussin’ chores with them, which woulda been fine if both kids were still in high school.  However, Kayla (?) done graduated, so instead of her worryin’ bout how much money she gon’ get for pickin’ up her room and washin’ a dish, she needs to be worried about somebody’s college education.  Now, I ain’t for lil girls havin’ a whole bunch of attitude, but I did like how Riley said she wouldn’t be worried about comin’ in at 2 a.m. when she’s 18 because she will be in college.  SHADE Hunny!  And out of the mouth of babes…

I know why I ain’t got a lot to say.  Mama Joyce ain’t make no appearance this week!  I wonder if she done dreamt about Todd’s vie-sectomy (that is how she said vasectomy last week and I hollered) again.  I need her to have mo’ on her mind than dreamin’ of her son-in-law in that way.  She should be securin’ a position on somebody’s mothers’ board up in somebody’s church.

What else happened?  Oh, we finally got to see the random (Claudia Jordan) hold a peach.  She gave us her backstory and how she already famous (‘supposably’).  The best thing about her was the Rickey Smiley connection because he made an appearance and made me laugh.  I ain’t mad at her though because at least now, Kenya got a lil friend.  Lawd knows, she needs one.

Phaedra found out Apollo lied, and to be a self-proclaimed Southern Belle who does all thangs proper, delivered one of the most blasphemous lines in the histry of reality tv.  She mentioned Jesus and two versions of the “F” word in the same sentence.  I wonder what her pastor mother thought of that.  Kenya expects an apology from Phaedra but she prolly won’t eva get it – Apollo spread several larcenies ova her name, but I think Kenya is just goin’ to have to twirl on.  Nene damn sure wasn’t in an apology mode.  She told her new best friend and shadow Porsha such ova wine at Porsha’s house.  I guess Porsha still in them people’s house.  I just knew that thang would be foreclosed on by now.  She probably leasin’ it and Bravo footin’ the bill.  *side eye*  I hollered when Porsha said she wasn’t “very rich” like Nene…but “hood rich”.  Hayle both of them “hood rich”.  Nene learned what a THOT was from Porsha but I got a feelin’ from her reaction (“that hoe where?  ova there?”), it won’t be a regular part of her vocab.

Apollo visited a divorce attorney.  I don’t remember the attorney’s name (I should cuz his arse been on more than five episodes not including both Kandi’s and Nene’s wedding shows) but he must be the only damn divorce attorney IN Atlanta cuz errybody keeps goin’ to him.  And I would be okay if he was “good” at it, but he appears to be bout as good at lawyerin’ as Phaedra is.  Porsha ended up with nothin’ in her divorce.  Todd gon’ end up with next to nothin’ if it don’t work out.  And po’ Greg prolly won’t even get to keep his drawls if he and Nene don’t work out this time.  He gettin’ a lot of airtime and publicity though.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see his ol’ scruffy face arse holdin’ a peach in next season’s episodes.  Apollo said he just wants to make sure he has somethin’ when he gets out lest he goes back to stealin’ fokes money and identities like he did this time.  He also said he loves Phaedra but despises everything about her.  ?  I guess he was plannin’ crimes and felonies when he shoulda been paying attention in school cuz that pretty much means he hates her arse.

The “new” Cynthia is actin’ real mean girl, and that was evident when she finally sat down with Porsha to air things out.  Porsha was an hour late to the meeting, so Cynthia had every right to be upset.  Howevs, at about the 30 minutes late mark, Cynthia should have gotten up and walked out.  I’m assuming the producers made her stay cuz ain’t no way in the world I woulda sat up there waiting on that gul for a whole 60 minutes.  That is a wasted hour of Cynthia’s life she cain’t neva get back.  Porsha offered no apologies, and they just started goin’ in on each other.  From like 10 to 1,000 in a matter of seconds.  I would offer who I think may have won the war of words (prolly NOT Porsha since she accused Cynthia of being a 5 year old in menopause.  I’m convinced Porsha got her grades handed to her in school cuz she is clearly lacking in the brains department) but to me it sounded like when adults talk in them Charlie Brown movies.  Womp, womp, womp. That’s pretty much all I got from the catfight.

And that was pretty much this week’s RHOA episode.  Just like today’s blog – not much going on.  Imma hang in there though with hopes that either somebody snatches somebody’s edges in a war of words OR we get to see Apollo’s face behind them people’s glass.  Either would be a win/win for viewers and this blog.  Later….

cynthiaandporsha

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