Scandal Recap – Lawd Cyrus Done Pretty Much Labeled Olivia Pope a Common THOT!


I was tryna decide if I should go to sleep or stay up and write this Scandal recap, cuz my eyes is sho’ tired.  Plus, I’m still mad at several news stories today including the one about that White House fence jumper.  I’m still tryna figga out why he ain’t take at least two bullets to the arse behind scaling that fence and an additional one for how he did them dogs.  Did y’all see the clip?  He kicked one dog in the nose and mouth and then did a pile driver (wrestling move) on the other one.  He beat those dogs arses like THEY jumped the fence.  Still no word on exactly what Secret Service was doing, and the dogs are now in recovery.  Yes, he put them dogs in the hospital.  Two cats woulda been better protection.  But this ain’t bout those dogs….this is a Scandal recap so let’s get into it.

Jake is still locked away in a dungeon, being interrogated by somebody who must have just started working for the State Department.  Jake ain’t ate nothin’ in almost 72 days and is holdin’ up pretty well considerin’.  Flashbacks of him on the beach, standin’ in the sun, doin’ nothing AND Olivia keep his mind off food apparently.  He wants to see the President.  Hard to believe these two used to be best friends before they let a woman in a white coat and hat come between them.

There is still the storyline of somebody’s daughter getting killed and the mama being framed.  Possibly.  We see Quinn and Liv on a stake-out where they witness the shooting of another girl.  All I can really remember is the shooter had a really LOOOOONNNG gun.  The same kind the Secret Service shoulda used to light up that latest fence jumper.  More stuff happens surrounding this case, including Quinn, who got all the balls in the world now but no back molars, cutting open a dead body’s stomach and fishin’ round for keys, past due notices, old report cards and such.  Just nasty for no good reason.  Liv meets with some random where she takes off the longest gloves known to man.  I gots to get me some of them gloves.  Y’all know I’m an usher.  Hope I don’t take up too much time during church service removin’ ‘em and putting ‘em back on.

Huck is trying to see his son, and his baby mama ain’t havin’ it.  He knows the deal.  That thang ain’t paid child support in bout 10 years and wanna see somebody.  She agrees to let him see the kid, but it’s a set up and she got a doctor there waiting to talk to Huck.  Said doctor got errythang but a pistol and a straitjacket and needs both.  Huck gets mad when he realizes he can’t see his kid and chokes the doctor out.  I’m sure the doctor gon’ send a big arse bill to Huck’s babymama behind that.

Meanwhile, Olivia is acting SPRUNG and callin’ Jake every 10 minutes, leaving messages, trying to skype, sending smoke signals and looking for him with a flashlight in the daytime.  Enter Daddy Pope with a bottle of expensive wine and promises of mo’ pot roast to take her mind off Jake, who he has actually set up and framed.  Liv finally gets Huck to track his whereabouts and figgas out her ol’ boyfriend Fitz got her new boyfriend Jake.  The President goes to the dungeon to visit Jake and tricks him into eatin’ the worse lookin’ sammich I have ever seen.  I’m surprised they ain’t put poison in it.  Fitz wants him to have all his faculties and a full stomach when he signs the confession that saying he (Jake) killed the Fitz’s son.

Liv who won’t stop calling the White House lookin’ for her boyfriend.  She gets the most hang-ups in the span of fi’ minutes than most foke get all week.  Her old boyfriend hangs up on her…Abby hangs up on her…Cy…the White House gardener…the White House cook…etc.  Cyrus pays a courtesy call to her apartment where he pretty much brands her a THOT fuh havin’ two boyfriends and tells her that he plans to dance on Jake’s grave for all of the debauchery and mayhem Jake carried out including the killing of his baby mama, James.  Liv figgas out that this has her daddy’s stench all ova it and goes to confront him.  Daddy Pope starts in with the 5 minute monologue complete with inflections and Liz forgets what she went over there for and leaves.  I know she is smart enough to know when her Daddy is lying.  Pretty much whenever he is talking.

Rosen confesses to Abby that he is behind the death of that Judge and Abby goes to confront Liv who falls into her arms crying talmbout Jake done not only got all the lights turnt off at B6-13 last season, but he done also killed pretty much errybody.  Smelly drunk as helly Mellie gets into the shower with a Brillo pad and some hedge clippers to take care of some personal groomin’ after layin’ her stankin’ arse up on them people’s Oval Offices’ couches and sofas without plastic.  I’m gon’ miss the Smelly Mellie!

The episode ends with Fitz beating the crap out of Jake.  Of course, Jake is handcuffed cuz you know he is a trained killa who would take Fitz out in a heartbeat.  Jake is taunting him bout sleepin’ with his woman.  I can see why Liv had Thotty ways behind these two.  I’d stand in the sun with both of ‘em.

Lawd I hope Jake don’t get beat to death, and I hope he don’t get that lethal injection.  It doesn’t look good though.  I’m still confused by How To Get Away With Murder but I’m still watching.  If Viola Davis aka Annalise don’t get at least a Hoody behind taking off her wig, lashes and brows, I know something.  I’m also gon’ send a message to Shonda Rhimes about changin’ the Viola’s character’s name.  She don’t look like an Annalise.  More like an Annie Mae.  Welp!  I done got real sleepy so till next time.  Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark


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