In the words of that ol’ sage and self-proclaimed Southern Belle herself, Phaedra Parks, errybody knows I loves me some good reality show and some reality show tea, Hunny.  We are still a couple of weeks away from the Season 7 but Bravo done gave us an early Chrih-muh gift in the form of a teaser video *rubbin’ hands together*.

In the video, we see much shade bein’ thrown Porsha’s way.  Apparently, there’s a new broad.  Let’s refer to her as a “random”.  And for those of you new to my blog, let me define “a random”.  A random as it relates to the reality show world is somebody who is NEW to the scene or show that we don’t really know, who has questionable celebrity, and is always doing THE MOST in an effort to get on.  Notorious randoms would include that guy that played football and his wife who were on RHOA last season tryna talk bad about Phaedra and Kandi (season regulars).  Sometimes, randoms CAN get on and secure a spot.  See Phaedra Parks.  She done successfully turnt this thang in her favor and gone from being the attorney that was known for defendin’ Bobby Brown back in the 90s to a full-fledged reality star, authoress, and mortician.  Errythang BUT the attorney that she went to school to become.  I don’t know bout y’all, but she ain’t seem to be that successful at being an attorney.  Bobby Brown went to jail, and the only other case I knew her to have was Sheree’s chile support case and that gull got a fo’ figga settlement.

So anyway, about the new broad (I looked up her name..it’s Claudia Jordan).  Her biggest claim to fame to date is being one of the models who slid her hand over and under featured products and prizes on The Price Is Right.  I wonder if Bob Barker ever felt on her booty.  Y’all know they said that archaic Geritol-takin’ thang was a FREAK.  Anyway, Claudia is getting mighty cozy with Porsha’s ex-husband, Kordell Stewart.  Clearly, Claudia is tryna shade Porsha.  Porsha used to be a full-time housewife on the show, and now, without Kordell and the divorce storyline, she been demoted to “friend of the housewives with a recurrin’ role when the producers feel like lettin’ her on”.  So she gotta deal with this new girl takin’ her spot and all up in her former man’s face, takin’ selfies, and inboxin’ and whatnots.  Cuz you KNOW ain’t nobody really checkin’ for Kordell Stewart like that.  I hate callin’ foke ugly, so we’ll just say he’s facially challenged.  Claudia is also shadin’ Phaedra via Twitter and on the Rickey Smiley Show (where she done replaced Ebony Steele – y’all know I rocks with Ebony so I’m already kinda mad behind that).  I heard she also tries to come fuh Ne Ne on the show too.

They also show a clip where Apollo, mad cuz he gotta turn himself in to do his bid for stealin’ them foke’s mutual funds and IRAs, shows up at the house he shares with Phaedra and tries to come for her.  Lit’rally and fig’ratively.  I’m talmbout goin’ apesheeit.  I’m talmbout thank GOD Mr. President and Mr. Secretary of State (the two kids) were at her mama’s house cuz they daddy was ready to show his natchal arse!  Screamin’ on Phaedra, and tryin’ to put his chest to her chest  to instigate a physical fight, to the point where the police were called.  Now you gotta be some kinda special (and not in a good way) to have the police called on you when you was already headin’ down to the police station anyway.

Also in this clip, there are rumors of Phaedra havin’ affairs, what appears to be multiple fights, Kandi’s mama and Todd’s mama goin’ at it and Cynthia burnin’ up the infamous friend contract!  Bay Bay..this season 7 trailer allowed me to get my WHOLE life.  I’m talmbout from birth to middle age!

Whew Chile.  I wonder if the prison guards gon’ let Apollo watch?  I wonder how he’s farin’ now that Phaedra done officially filed for divorce and pretty much said she ain’t got let Mr. President and Mr. Minority Whip visit him?  I wonder if he done got his hair braided yet…if he done had to fight for his conebread while quotin’ Sophia from The Color Purple?  I wonder if Kenya done put money on his books?  I wonder if he still doin’ donkey booty squats on the yard?  Yeah, I cain’t hardly wait to see how this season plays out….