Love and Hip Hop Hollywood, Dancin’ With The Stars and Other Foolishness

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So I watched Love and Hip Hop Hollywood last night.  Hey, don’t judge me…I was bored and it was a slow night.  I’m sorry but it’s hard for me to take anything that Ray J does seriously.  He tries so hard to be more than Brandy’s little brother, but sadly, he fails time and time again.  He is supposably (*side eye*) an R&B artist but I can only think of one good song he done had.  “One Wish” was a nice song even though it had too much falsetto.  And when WAS that sex tape made that he did with Kim Kardashian?  Circa 2000?  I need him to stop talmbout he hit it first and conjurin’ up her name whenever somebody sticks a camera in his face.  Yeah, you made her famous but in the process, you should have made yourself really famous too.  How does that happen?  She blows up and you don’t.  She stay winnin’ and you stay doin’ the opposite.  She got clothes, perfume, dog toys, tv shows, stores, covers of magazines and you on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood.  Ray J gon’ need to do more to be better.  He is like the guy that tries really hard to be the cool kid but ends up being labeled “lame”.

Let’s see…who else was on the show that I remember, cuz honestly they had a lot of one-hit wonders and randoms.  Oh, Soulja Boy.  And I only know him cuz of that Supaman song that was out damn near 10 years ago.  He also said he was ‘an actor’ but the only thing I can recall him bein’ in was an old episode of The Game.  He had ONE line.  He was talkin’ like he was in some critically acclaimed movies and got nominated for a Hoody.  Chile…PLEASE.  He had a cute girlfriend though – she is Teddy Riley’s (GUY) daughter.  Wayyy too cute for him.  And she come from industry money so I couldn’t figga out why she was ridin’ with Soulja Boy.  He weigh bout 90 lbs soakin’ wet, tatted up and looks like he is need of a good bath complete with scrubbin’.  Plus, I thought he was with Diamond on that Sisters of Hip Hop Show two weeks ago so I was a bit confused.  Oh yeah, I’m up on the haps.  I have to be as a pop culturologist.

Omarion is also on the show…he was in B2K.  He got some random pregnant and his mama don’t get along with the girl.  Every Love and Hip Hop show since inception has had that dynamic – Chrissy, Jim Jones and his mama; Erica, Scrappy and Mama Dee and now these randoms (I don’t know care enough to try to find out their names).  I’m bored already apparently.  Next week is the “fake fight” so I may stick around for a couple mo’ episodes.  Though I don’t like real violence, the manufactured kind that brings ratings for ratchet-ry appears to be okay.  I’m okay with a good cup throwin’…a red cup tho’ like the one the new Miss America played the other night for her talent.  Lawd, that was a mess!  I was tryna to figga out what the hayle she was doin’.  She ain’t use TWO cups.  I think she won cuz the judges thought she was slow.  I think the lady with the ventriloquist dummy did better and you know Miss Mississippi sang that song (yes, I’m biased but I can be cuz this is my blog).  I am done talmbout Love and HIp Hop Hollywood, i.e. A Bunch of One Hit Wonders and Randoms Forever In The Studio But Ain’t Got No Music Playin’ Nowhere.

I also watched a little bit of Dancin’ With the Stars.  I also didn’t know a lot of these apparent has-beens and never was’es.  I am partial to ol’ Carlton from The Fresh Prince, but feels like it’s almost cheating to have him on there cuz he been dancin’ since he was 9 and in them Michael Jackson commercials and videos.  Tavis Smiley is on there also.  The years ain’t been that kind.  Matta fact, they been downright mean to his arse.  I guess errybody ages.  Betsey Johnson the designer is on there too.  I think she is either 72 or 92.  She did a cartwheel and a split.  I gave her five points for that but had to deduct them when she damn near slipped on a boa.  I don’t want her losin’ a hip and becomin’ disabled behind this show, so I’m gon’ ask that y’all don’t vote for her so she can go home.  I understand wantin’ the older foke to be able to connect with a dancer, but it’s too risky.  DWTS gon’ learn when they get served behind somebody’s sweet diabetes flarin’ up or breakin’ a hip or somethin’.  I don’t know any of the other foke.  They say that Olympian on there is a 32 year old virgin.  GOD bless her.  She cain’t move her hips for nothin’ but now that I know why, I think she should get the sympathy vote.

That’s it…slow week.  Cain’t wait till Scandal starts.  I know Daddy Pope got some stuff up his sleeve now that the lights and stuff been turnt back on…..

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