Yesterday, Phaedra Parks’ ex-convict hubby Apollo Nida reported to prison for an eight year stint.  Now, I was rootin’ for Apollo though I wondered a) what that self-proclaimed Southern Belle and attorney saw in him and b) what he was gon’ do in the way of employment outside of Bravo with a prison record.  But when he got Phaedra pregnant…twice…I was really hopin’ some of y’all would at least buy a couple copies of that Donkey Booty video they had done made so he could get his coins together.  So really, I could almost blame y’all for him goin’ back in the joint *side eye*

However, let the record (pun intended) show that I stopped cuttin’ fuh Apollo when he was caught out there bad with them texts to Kenya Mo’, and when he stole them people’s pensions.  There is just some stuff you don’t do.  And then he spread larceny all upon the name of the former Miss USA (yeah I done gave her title back cuz she responded to a tweet I sent her on Twitter…y’all will recall I had to demote her during the season to Miss Black College Park for actin’ a damn fool and twirlin’ all up and through the streets of Atlanta with them other Real Housewives, but I digress) and he bragged ‘bout blowin’ them people’s pensions in the strip club.  And he wasn’t even SHAME to say ON TELEVISION that he was droppin’ THOUSANDS a night in the champagne room and wasn’t even drankin’ champagne..nawl he was gulpin’ down premium liquor like Ciroc and rollin’ in a big body Mercedes.  Hayle, I work erryday and got the lil one, and it’s bout 12 years old.  He was up in Magic City just being nasty for no good reason, stuffin’ them people’s hard earned checks in them strippers g-strangs.  He prolly still ain’t got them baby oil stains out them good clothes Phaedra bought him.

I don’t feel sorry for Apollo, but I feel really sorry for his sons though.  Mr. President and Mr. Secretary of State did NOT deserve this.  He let them down in a big way.  I’m pretty sure Phaedra ain’t gon’ take them kids to see him in prison, which is probably a good idea.  They are young enough to forget him and she can always tell them he was the pool boy if’n they see old episodes of RHOA when they grow up.  I envision them in the penitentiary pickin’ up an ol’ germy phone with they lil hands on that window talkin’ to Apollo and I don’t like what I see.  Oh and I heard he sent a message to his “fans” ‘fo he went in.  Kneegro, you ain’t got no fans…you got victims.  You know..the people who actually OWNED them  pensions you done stole.

Yesterday, Ray Nagin, former mayor of New Orleans, also reported to prison.  Lawd, I love me a good cup of gumbo, but he done brought shame to the Crescent City and erry good beignet I done ever eaten there.  He had to report to prison in Texarkana.  Said he came in a little white car (I heard it was a ’92 Ford Escort…or did they say ’72?) and when got there, he stood outside as long as he could, just huggin’ his kinfoke.  That’s cuz he know they ain’t gon’ neva drive up from Nawlins to visit.  That’s far.  Plus, what they gon’ do in Texarkana besides buy some gas and a Big Gulp at the 7-11.  They sayin’ he is indigent, which is a nice word for real real poor.  My, my, my….how the mighty have fallen.  I remember him tryin’ to get Nawlins help during and after Katrina…tryna help people get back to they homes.  However, they say he did it on the backs of those same foke he tried to help – goin’ on lavish trips to Baton Rouge and Biloxi,  and dinin’ out at Ruth Chris nem, while settin’ up a bidness for his own family to benefit from others’ strife.  Hard to feel sorry for somebody when they done made the wrong choices.

Apparently, yesterday was a popular day to report to the joint. I would think prison is particularly hard on light-skinded men.  I’m sure they get their hair braided first and prolly are the first to be bought and sold for cigarettes and other commissary.  That’s why Apollo asked Kenya to put money on his books.  He know he bout to be part of various prison bartering transactions.  And to think, light-skinded men were just starting a resurgence in popularity, riding the wave of Barack Obama’s Presidential run and subsequent win (twice!) after bout 20-25 years of being out of style.  And then El Debarge caught a charge and Christopher Williams of “Promises, Promises” fame with that sheeit-stained brown tooth arose from the damn near dead, and started movin’ them backwards again.  And now with both Apollo and Ray fightin’ for they conebread and they virginity in the Pen, the comeback for light-skinded men is pretty much over.  Oh well……