So y’all know how I feel ’bout ol’ people havin’ kids. I’m convinced now that they don’t need a Facebook account. They don’t need to be Tweetin’ or followin’ anybody and they damn sure don’t need to be Instagrammin’ (nobody wants to see they mama twerkin’ or their daddy postin’ inappropriate sheeit). Speaking of daddies postin’ inappropriately….Nick Cannon’s daddy is all kindsa wrong and the reason for this blog postin’ on a Saturday night when I should be restin’ up for church.
First, the Commodores and High Five break up, then, there are rumors and rumblin’s of a rift in the first family (The Carters…you know Blu Ivy nem parents) culminatin’ in that ol’ nasty split kick Solange put in Jay’s chest in them people’s elevator. Now the word on the street is Mariah and Nick Cannon are breakin’ up. Now I will be the first to say, I ain’t thank they was gon’ make it past 3 months. Well they done made it 6 years and had twins in the process. (Side note – Nick say he ain’t hit dat until their wedding night….I was like wow….I woulda neva guessed ol’ half nekkid slightly skanky Mariah was holdin’ out like that. I give her props but I digress…) Nick done told the press that he and Mariah been living separately for months. And that’s bout all he can say cuz Mariah done slapped a gag order on dat arse. Too bad she couldn’t slap one on his daddy.
Now I ain’t neva had no daddy but if’n I had one, I’d damn sho’ ban his arse from social media. This man done got on FB and become “Loose Lips McGee”, talmbout what would you do if your wife lied, got fat, and ain’t wanna have mo’ than two kids? He even hinted that Mrs. Cannon may have had an abortion. Just draggin’ the name of Mariah all up and through! First of all, that thang messier than a damn Sloppy Joe sammich! If your son is goin’ through it with his wife and the mother of his kids, why oh why would you feel the need to speak on it all up and through Facebook? Why do you even have a damn Facebook page? If you got some advice for your son, pick up the phone and call him. I’m assuming he knows the numba.
So yeah, these daddies have got to be stopped. First, Beyonce, Solange and Kelly Rowland nem daddy Matthew (yass yass, I’m throwin’ a whole forest fulla shade) out here buyin’ diapers AND Depends cuz he done got nekkid with randoms. Then, Lamar Odom’s daddy, who ain’t paid fi’ cent of chile support since Lamar been alive, got all kindsa stuff to say bout the Kardashians. And now Nick Cannon damn daddy got diarrhea all bout the mouth. I guess the bad daddy-ness started with Joe Jackson. Y’all know how he used to beat them kids when they messed up a step or played his guitar without asking. Since he got rich off it, these other daddies is obviously tryna come up.
I’m gon’ keep Nick and Mariah nem lifted up in prayer. I don’t like to see anybody’s marriage in jeopardy. I’m gon’ wish them well and hope that Nick Cannon’s daddy forgets his Facebook password. What say y’all?