Love and Hip Hop and the Atlanta Exes Done Set Black Foke in the ATL Back 100 Years…

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I know I could be doin’ somethin’ mo’ productive with my time than losin’ brain cells behind these reality shows.  It makes me wonder how “real” actresses and actors must feel to have these randoms on tv erry week.  They ain’t got no formal actin’ training…hayle 90% of ’em ain’t got no home training! 

But it’s my guilty pleasure, watchin’ foke that I should NOT care about actin’ a damn fool and setting Black foke back hundreds of years. 

Take Love and Hip Hop ATL (I kinda stopped watching NY mid-way through cuz I ain’t know half of them randoms and the story line that had Peter Gunz goin’ back and forth twixt them two women was WACK and PLAYED.  What was he….45 wearing the same jeans week after week and livin’ in an efficiency with his baby mama?  So not a pimp but I guess he thought he was…ol’ one hit wonder arse).  The main characters in LHHATL act a damn fool week in and week out:  Stebie J wants to be a pimp and music mogul, but ain’t had a hit since 112 was together.  Strung along his baby mama Mimi for a decade and now done fake married Joseline, the self-proclaimed non-langual (that means that thang don’t speak English, Spanish or anythang else recognizable) Puerto Rican Princess.  I cain’t really speak on other races, but I’m sure she done set Puerto Ricans back at least fifty years. 

Then there’s Mimi…the long sufferin’ baby mama of Stebie J who just put out a sex tape with a random SNOT (slaw ninja out there) who favors Chuck E. Cheese.  Just think about a rat doin’ it with a beaver and what their baby would look like and you got Nikko, ‘ceptin’ he REAL old in the face.  Like he ain’t neva used a drop of moisturizer.  Skin rough like sandpaper.  Mimi is constantly MAD but is always directin’ that anger toward the wrong person.  She is always doin’ the most with the least because secretly she wants Stebie back.  She is, however, too old to be so damn naive and makes me wonder if CPS needs to start doin’ home visits at her crib.

Then there’s Little Scrappy (that thang 30 and ain’t nothin’ lil bout him but his money) and his Mama, who looks like Scar, the evil uncle lion in Lion King.  She constantly talmbout she is the queen of some imaginary palace when truth be told, she livin’ in an efficiency with a let out couch like JJ nem had on Good Times.  And her son ain’t even qualified to be the Prince of Zamunda let alone the daddy to E-Money.  Yes, they pronounce it that way.  His baby mama Erica ain’t got enough goin’ on for me talk bout her, but her mama’s (Mignon, as in Filet Mignon) deserves an honorable mention based on that name alone.

Benzino is the founder of Source magazine and done started another mag, when foke are readin’ stuff on the internet nowadays anyway (recipe for business failure) and is challenged in the neck area.  And his appendages are short and he got a long arse torso.  He looks ‘dinosaurish’.  I would talk about the other players, but at the end of the day, they are just a bunch of randoms and y’all know I don’t do randoms.  Especially thirsty ones that struggle to have a storyline from week to week.

So you would think I would stop watchin’ these shows but I can’t.  They are like carwrecks.  You know you should turn away but you can’t stop the rubberneckin.  I was gon’ talmbout Atlanta Exes but I done got sleepy.  I probably need to give them their own post because I am still tryin’ to figure out how Usher Raymond hit dat (his ex Tameka is on the show) at least twice.  I’m really mad bout dat.  And that thang looked old, tired and weathered.  Like she been rode wet and hung up dry.  Her face look real dry.  I gotta get to know the other randoms…I mean bitter bees with an ax to grind against their wayyyyy more famous exes.  I will post about them later…you know if they show ain’t cancelled.  I’m also too  tired to type mo’.  It’s hard work keeping up with a blog.  I’m bout to go night night…I’ll holler at y’all later!  I’m out….

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

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