Scandal Recap – Liv..Foreva a Side Chick

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Is it too much to just want Liv to have her happily ever after with an unattached man?  Fitz FINALLY got a divorce from Mellie, moved Liv and all her clothes in, and she still couldn’t be happy.  Shonda put her right back in that lil arse apartment where her Daddy can continue to show up announced, pick her locks, and be up in there eatin’ up all her steak and drankin’ her wine.  And speakin’ of Daddy Pope, does he even pretend to still work at the Smithsonian?  Or did he retire and start drawin’ a pension from that fake arse job?  He need to pay back all the money them foke gave him for being a fake curator.

He was back tonight, and in full effect.  Dinin’ out with Liv, eating, you guessed it – steak and sippin’ on them foke red wine.  Then, he was back out on a park bench with her doin’ another one of those 180 second monologues not even takin’ time to catch his breath.  He must do breathin’ exercises to be able to do that sheeit.  He also told her that Jake got somebody.  Cuz again, he doesn’t want Liv to get too caught up in these “white boys” as he puts it.  Jake is livin’ with him (Daddy Pope) but spends erry night or erry other night at Liv’s place dry grindin’ and blowin’ Liv’s back all the way out.  And then he gets up and goes about his day.  I don’t think he even bother to make a bed or put away a dish.  Daddy Pope threw salt in his game, but it didn’t matter cuz Jake got that thane.  He told Liv he was being safe…the other chick was clean..and she ain’t have nothin’ to worry about why he laid on the flo’ givin’ Liv rug burns.  Bay Bay, he woulda had to get his arse all the way up outta my house.  I woulda thrown his clothes to him in the hallway.  You ain’t gon’ dry grind with me and the next broad too.  Liv is forever the side chick and never the main woman.  She is too much of a boss chick for that foolishness!

Cyrus was on his mad scientist sheeit…creating another President in his likeness.  He set his sights on the governor of Pennsylvania (Carlos Solis from Desperate Housewives, lookin’ fine even without the facial hair) and hatched a plan to have Tom (yes the ol’ B613 agent – chile that thane came up outta Cy’s office bathroom wearin’ a towel and no explanation) recruit a sniper to take out the governor.  I don’t think he wanted him taken out though..he wanted to make the governor a hero that saved the lives of others.  The sniper agreed to it because they threatened his young son.  Charlie ended up “babysitting” the son which was just code for keeping the kid in case he needed to kill him.  Charlie will do anythane for a buck with his ol’ blackhearted arse.  Quinn went with him but had no idea what the “plan” was.  The sniper did what he was ordered to do, and the son was saved.  And Cyrus created a hero (the governor) in the process…a hero who can be the next president.

David Rosen got the drawls of the Vice President and Lizzy Bear….and didn’t do a lick of work as Attorney General tonight.  Maybe lick is a bad choice of words, cuz Bay Bay, that thane got it in.  Fitz also got it in with that journalist even though Abby tried her best to cockblock.  Matta fact, there was so much sex going on tonight on Scandal that I was chain smokin’ Newpotes.  Errybody was dry grindin’ ‘ceptin’ Huck.  Prolly why his arse is mad all the time.

Liv tried to figga out if her daddy and Jake were up to something after Huck accused her of sleeping with the enemy.  He was trying to find out if she was collecting intel, but alas, she was just dry grindin’ and collecting peen.  Now she is opening up an investigation into Jake’s new girlfriend.  I wish I had an agency that coulda spied on a couple of my boyfriends when they were out in the streets cheating.  Next week, Liv is going to find out Fitz been blowin’ that lady (the journalist) back out.  Liv done lost step or 7 cuz both her men got other women.  I’m over here hoping Daddy Pope and Huck get to cup and rub them a little booty next week.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark cuz Cyrus and Huck both retweeted me tonight…

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