If You Tell Me Happy Father’s Day…I’m Kickin’ You In The Throat!


Well not really, but Imma think about it and have to close my eyes, count to ten, call on the name of Sweet Baby Jesus and try to find my inner zen.  Hallmark done made me mad targeting Black foke with the foolishness of celebrating single mothers on Father’s Day.  I think I will go to my neighborhood Wal-mart…and Target…and Albertson’s and even CVS to see if they have some of these cards that say “For You, Mom, on Father’s Day”.  I’m gon’ snatch and hide all of ’em behind the nude Leggs’ pantyhose in the stocking section of the sto’.  I mean really…whose “brainchild” was this?  And I probably wouldn’t be as fiyah hot if the cards were in the “mainstream” section–targeted to errybody.  But nooooo…they gotta be marketed to me and all of my sisters (this does NOT include YOU, Rachel Dolezal, I don’t care how you be identifyin’ nor how your hair be teased and popped).

I think it’s mostly a slight against deadbeat arse fathers.  I can understand the outrage – grown arse foke are supposed to take care of their children.  These kids didn’t send us a text and ask us to bring them here.  I actually sat down one day and tried to come up with excuses that would make a man NOT be there for his child.   I couldn’t come up with ONE.  Hayle, I couldn’t come up with 1/8th of one.  However, there is no reason to focus on what these deadbeats ain’t doing on the one day a year when fatherhood is celebrated.  There are real dads out here braiding hair, giving baths, working to take care of their families, makin’ nasty spaghetti, teaching kids how to ride bikes, holding hands, kissing boo-boos, giving hugs, and providing tough love when necessary.  THAT should be celebrated.  I get mad when I see this type of tomfoolery because it is a slap in the face to the men that are doing what they are supposed to do.  A real man (Caitlyn Margaret Agnes Francis Jenner excluded) would probably look at you crazy if you gave him a mother’s day card.  We mothers would be up in arms too if we logged on to Facebook and saw that craziness on our day.  We’d probably go in, unfriend and hide that sheeit from our timelines.  But we probably wouldn’t have to, because the dude it was directed to would likely call that mess out.

So why then do we feel comfortable doing it to fathers on Father’s Day?  There has got to be a market for it because we know greeting card companies ain’t in the business of doin’ sheeit to lose money.  I gotta surmise that somebody is out here buyin’ these cards like hotcakes.  And the somebody is us.  Which is sad because no matter what we do as mothers, we will NEVER be fathers.  We will NEVER be able to fill the void of an absentee dad.  We will succeed in being EXCELLENT mothers, and that should be enough.  There are some lessons, some things we cannot teach, some things we cannot provide which is why Dad is needed.  GOD in HIS INFINITE wisdom knew that it would take that perfect balance of mother and father to rear a balanced child.  And I don’t care what your children tell you – they want their dads in their lives.  I don’t care how absent he’s been…how he doesn’t call when he says….doesn’t pick them up like he says…doesn’t pay child support.  They still WANT their dads!  I know because my husband is over 40 and he still yearns for his and the relationship they never had.  Sheeit…I didn’t find out who my daddy was until I was 18 and I STILL wanted his ol’ brokedown arse.  And a paternity test, but I digress.  Hayle, y’all know I’m a skeptic.

So with all that being said, let’s take a step back, take a deep breath, and stop buying these damn cards.  Make Hallmark take ’em off the shelves.  On the one day that a father is celebrated, let’s celebrate the good dads.  Let’s cuss the deadbeat out under our breath and in our minds, but send him a card…call him…say something nice about him in front of our children.  This could be the one Father’s Day that could change all the past ones.  Let him talk to his kid….maybe he will be moved to start doing the right thing.  Because at the end of the day, we have some responsibility in the situation.  I hope no one is laying down unprotected with a loser but the truth is, it happens more than we think.  Signs are there, if you really get to know a person, that he “could” be a deadbeat.  Discernment is key.  For instance, you shouldn’t find somebody who isn’t gainfully employed sexy enough to dry grind with ’em.  If you got mo’ liabilities than assets, I ain’t gon’ neva take my clothes off with you.  We choose our children’s parents so we gotta do better.

And we gotta stop buying these damn cards!  Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.  If you are doing right by your children, I applaud you.  If you are not, today is another day to get it right.  Cuz if’n I see you out in these streets, I might consider also kicking YOU in the throat.

Follow Me on Twitter @staylorclark


One thought on “If You Tell Me Happy Father’s Day…I’m Kickin’ You In The Throat!

  1. bkl93

    Sheila, on behalf of dads, step-dads, adopted fathers, blended fathers, grandfathers, single fathers, and just men in general, thank you for calling this foolishness out for what it is. Parenting is challenging no matter the gender, but it’s a joy to do. Each gender has it’s own day. Let Dad have something of his own. For those of us men who have and still do act as Dads, Happy Father’s Day.


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