Scandal Finale – How Shonda Rhimes Nem Stole My Thursday Nite & Snatched All My Edges

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Shonda nem shoulda titled this finale “And this is how Fitz came to put his wife, the First Lady, outta the White House so his side chick could move in”.  I love me some Olivia Pope.  I would probably try to work there (in a non-threatenin’, danger-free role, answerin’ phones, doin’ filing, makin’ journal entries and the like) if I could.  I done went down to the Limited last Chrih-muh and bought one of them Scandal coats.  That’s just how much I checks for Liv.  HOWEVER, I don’t know how I feel bout that last scene.  But befo’ we get to the last scene, let’s take this recap from the beginnin’.

I don’t know why Liv and David Rosen and Jake and Quinn and Huck nem cain’t leave B613 and Daddy Pope be!  It’s like they got a damn death wish or something.  As you will recall, Daddy Pope showed up to a meeting with Mellie, pretending to be a rich campaign donor named Damascus Bainbridge.  Now right then, I was mad as hayle at Mellie.  She know good and damn well ain’t no black man got that kinda name, I don’t care how many coins he got.  So she should have known it was a set up. Plus, I ain’t neva trusted Lizzy Bear, since she got her back grated by Huck and dry grinded with that ol’ skanky VP.

She thought “Damascus” was givin’ her information on causes and bout to cut her a check when he actually gave her salacious photos of her in all kinda states of undress with the Veep.  Bay Bay..you coulda bought ol’ Mel for a half a penny when she saw them photos.  She wanted to know who Damascus was (cuz remember, she ain’t neva met Daddy Pope…don’t know nothin’ bout him), and as usual, he told her HE was gon’ be the one asking the questions.  She sent Lizzie Bear out the room, and Damascus told her what he wanted – the list of all the grand jurors for the B613 case.

Meanwhile, yo’ boy Jake from State Farm was busy testifyin’ bout errythang including Remington, where Fitz shot down that commercial airline.  Rosen was grillin’ him too, tryna get as much info as he could from Jake and Olivia.  The grand jurors were takin’ it all in.  And then we figga’d out WHY Rowan Pope wanted the list of jurors.  Apparently, they were all on a bus, on they way to being sequestered or to the “safe house” (when they gon’ learn it ain’t no safe houses where Daddy Pope is concerned?) when they each caught a bullet to the cranium.  Chile, errybody on that bus was dead including the damn driver!  They said errybody that had been in that courtroom includin’ the court reporter and the bailiff met their untimely demise.  Daddy Pope warned ‘em, but they ain’t listen.  Nawl, they had to keep pokin’ that damn tiger.  David Rosen threw up when he saw that murder scene.  Chile, I ain’t seent that many foke dead since them people drank that kool-aid behind Jim Jones in Guyana.

Liv went runnin’ to her mama….who was no longer watchin’ her stories on a tv outside her cell. I guess David Rosen nem to cut her cable off.  Y’all know she ain’t no kinda momma, so she was beratin’ Liv for going after her father.  But in the end, Mama always knows best and she gave Liv a tip on how to get her daddy.

Liv went to the Smithsonian, where Daddy Pope works that fake arse job, and told his boss bout B613.  Done got all them foke on that bus kilt, and STILL won’t leave well enough alone!  That lady was the same one that wanted to take Liv out when them people held her captive so you know she wasn’t feelin’ what Liv and Jake nem was tryna say.  She called up Cyrus who called her Honey and told her she was bout to get her face and arse ripped off by that same Tiger errybody kept poking.  Olivia was waitin’ on ol’ girl to come back and take down Daddy Pope, but instead, when that lady got back from her lunch break, she had her goons arrest Liv and Jake!  Yes, they sent Liv to the same prison they put her mama in!  And Liv didn’t get a remote nor a tv.  I ain’t even sure she had a commode.  Now I ain’t gon’ lie…I don’t know if it was the wine or what, but I HOLLERED because how you gon’ go tell on somebody else to try to get them arrested and you end up in jail?  That man done told them plenty of times that they cain’t take Command..Command takes they arses.

Mellie realized she got all them people kilt turnin’ ova that list to Damascus/Daddy Pope, and told Lizzie and Cy.  Cy went down to the Smithsonian to Rowan’s fake arse workplace to holla at him.  This was the most I had seen Daddy Pope at that museum, cuz he don’t NEVA be at that job.  Liv shoulda figga’d his boss was B613 too (sheeit..ERRYBODY B613) because that’s the only way her daddy ain’t NEVA at work but still keep that job.

Cy went to David Rosen and threatened him.  More specifically threatened “Red”. You know David Rosen still love her and hopin’ to dry grind with her again, so he had Liv and Jake sign statements sayin’ they lied about the existence of B613.  They let Liv nem outta jail and then Daddy Pope called her to let her know she succeeded in shutting down B613 – all the remainin’ agents had been eliminated, i.e. shot in they heads, the files had been blown up and he personally killed the one agent that had been doin’ all the dirty work.  Now he was just a powerless ol’ man workin’ at them people’s museum again.

Liv got the last laugh though because once she realized Huck had funneled B613 money into an account (Quinn told her) she used that to prove that Daddy Pope had embezzled museum money.  Ain’t that a beetch? He done kilt all them damn foke for the past few seasons and he got taken down ova stealin’.  Without B613 agents, Daddy Pope ain’t have no protection and got arrested.  They sent that thang straight to gen-pop in them people’s prison.  At least Liv had a private cell.  They put Daddy Pope in there with common thieves and criminals.  I am prayin’ that he can hold on to his prison virginity.  I got $5 on his bail and $5 on his books.  Lawd I hope they don’t buy and sell Daddy Pope for cigarettes!

Quinn charged up Huck cuz she recognized his ‘handiwork’ on that bus.  Yep, Huck kilt them people, and Quinn put a gun to his head and threatened to kill him.  He begged her to pull the trigga.

Mellie won the senate seat, and was at the acceptance event when Lizzie told Fitz all about Daddy Pope coming to visit, Mellie givin’ him the list of jurors, etc.  Fitz confronted Mellie afterwards and she told him she did it for them because Rowan was gonna take them both down.  He told her to get her sheeit and get the hayle outta his house.  Which again, I take issue with, cuz we (the taxpayers) pay the note on that house erry month and the taxes.  He didn’t stop there.  He then told Cy off cuz he knew Cy was all up in it (Cy is errybit of B613) and fired his arse on the spot!  They took Cy’s badge, cafeteria card and errythang!  And guess who moved into Cy’s office as the new Chief of Staff?  LIZZIE BEAR!  Well played Lizzie!  She ain’t even walk with a limp due to grated back issues when she took her box of pics and plants up into her new office.  She walked right past Cy and smiled.

Liv invited Jake back to her place for dry grindin’ but Jake told her his mission was over.  B613 was shut down..her daddy was in them people’s penitentiary…and she was safe.  He loved her, but he knew that she loved “him” so she (Liv) should go to him.  Chile, if I hadda been able, I woulda called Jake and invited him over to my house.  If you reading this Jake…..heyyyy!  Fitz went to Liv’s apartment but she wasn’t there.  He couldn’t let himself in cuz she got all them extra locks.  He went back to the White House and found Liv there on the balcony.  Lawd, they ain’t got nobody’s security at that White House (sorta like real-life).  They played “Here Comes The Sun” by Nina Simone, and it went off as they embraced.

I don’t know how me or this blog will make it without Scandal.  What is we gon’ do?  It’s gon’ be a long hot summer.  And I cain’t even visit Daddy Pope in them people’s jail.  Tonight, ERRY member of the Pope family was in jail at some point.  Errybody that had the last name Pope was wearin’ an orange jumpsuit.  I was surprised I ain’t see THE pope goin’ to jail on Scandal.  Oh, I ain’t tell y’all..they let Mama Pope out!  David Rosen told her she was free to go if she signed a statement saying she knew nothing of B613.  Mama Pope was like ‘sheeit..where’s the pen?’  LOL!  I’m glad she got out.  Anybody that done chewed through they own damn wrists done already suffered enough punishment.

And that is how the finale ended.  I am still in my feelings bout it all.  I can’t wait to see how Shonda Rhimes and the Scandal Writers get my life at the end of the summer.  Maybe Cyrus will quit that hoe he married and become a Gladiator?  Or is there an age limit on being a Gladiator?  Maybe Daddy Pope will train the newest agents in prison and they will break him outta there.  Maybe Liv will become the new First Lady.  Maybe they will bring Russell’s ol’ fine arse back.  Or did Daddy Pope put him down like all the other agents?  I would love to see Russell workin’ for OPA.  With his shirt off.  Yeah, there are lots of things that can happen…I’m sure Shonda will keep us on our toes.  Til then…..goodnight Gladiators!

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

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