RHOA Recap – Why They Gotta Call Roger Bobb By His Whole Name?

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I am convinced that Mama Joyce is just not a happy person.  The show opened with her sister Nora throwin’ a fam’ly barbecue.  I knew it was some foolishness goin’ on because Mama Joyce had that ol’ nasty look on her face.  That’s what happens when you let the devil use you.  Cuz Nora had done cooked or catered all that good food and prayed a real nice prayer and errythang.  And her sister (Mama Joyce) up in there mad at Kandi cuz her man (Mama Joyce’s) done toe out erry bathroom and wall in Kandi’s old house.  And just left the sanks and toilets and tubs out in the flo’. If I was Kandi, I’d be mad too.  Mama Joyce attitude was real stank for somebody that stay talmbout Todd in a negative way .  I’m with Kandi.  You got a brand new house and ain’t even got to pay the water bill and you mad?  Bye Felicia.  Kandi need to tell Mama Joyce the new house is OFF.  Let her and her raggely arse man live up in Kandi ol’ house with all the toilets and bathtubs and sanks sittin’ on the floor.  I like Todd more and more each week.  That thang was trashtalkin’ during the Spades game so he alright with me.

Y’all know how I hate randoms, right?  Well, tonight we got to meet another one via RHOA.  Now I kinda knew her (she played Janine in House of Payne, that Tyler Perry comedy) but she still qualifies as a random.  She burst on the scene tonight…like all randoms do – doin’ the most with the least.  She just happened to roll through Cynthia’s spot lookin’ for models with white on and her stomach all the way out tryna be Beyonce but lookin’ more like Deyonce.  Speaking of that meeting with Cynthia, does Peter work?  Have any friends ‘ceptin’ for Todd and Apollo?  Cuz he ALWAYS up in the Bailey Agency.  Or at Bar None..I mean Bar One, you know, ‘fo it closed.  He don’t neva let Cynthia just hang with her girls or have meetings with foke without showin’ up AND participating.  I think I would be okay with him being around all the time, if he would keep his ol’ arse trap shut.

Okay back to the random.  Apparently the random been datin’ Roger Bobb.  Yes, apparently that is his name.  His whole damn name.  So now we got a random that is bringin’ along another random.  My only explanation for it is two randoms equal a relevant person.  It’s like they cancel each other out.  You know like how they say two ugly people will always produce a cute baby.  It don’t make sense, but it just works out that way.  So she was supposed to be doin’ a video release party (I’m with Phaedra – I ain’t know they did that anymore).  Hell, Beyonce just shot a video on her Iphone and released it.  And she got WAYYYY mo money.  Now the shade comes in because Kenya Mo’ was in a photo with Roger Bobb (yeah, I don’t like typin’ the extra characters for his name but that’s how errybody was saying it so I’mma just roll with it), and the blogs thought Kenya had a new man.  Roger Bobb worked for Tyler Perry and now he’s a millionaire producer.  They say that man keeps a check AND several females.  Roger Bobb been keeping his relationship with the random a secret while he been runnin’ amuck all up and through Atlanta’s sangle scene.  She wanted the video release to also be her comin’ out party with Roger Bobb.  When Roger Bobb talked, I sorta thought he mighta already come out.  How YOU doing?

Kenya accepted Roger Bobb’s personal invitation to the random’s video release party after telling her that yeah, the random IS his lady and he claimin’ her now.  Kenya shows up, along with Cynthia, Phaedra, Porscha, that other random (Claudia), Porscha’s sister (Porscha make sure she brang that thang wherever they got a VIP and free dranks LOL)  and Brandon (Kenya’s lightskinded friend who got the color beat off him by Apollo last season).  The random’s outfit was doin’ way to much at the party – side boobs, puckering in her top and a green sequin mermaid-ish lookin’ skirt with blue shoes.  Just a lot goin’ on for no damn reason.  She also let them all know Roger Bobb wasn’t gon’ be there.  I told y’all he was already “out”.  But that wasn’t the worst of it (cuz it’s pretty bad that your manager/man/sex buddy ain’t show up to your vdeo release party).  They couldn’t get the video to play..and when they finally did, the sound wouldn’t play.  That video release party was TRAGIC (just like that rag mop NeNe was wearin’ on her damn head with them bowl cut bangs lookin’ like a fake arse blond Moe from The Three Stooges).  Maybe Roger Bobb knew that mess was gon’ be ratchet and thus, stayed home watchin’ an episode of Orange Is The New Black.  The random and Kenya talked about Roger Bobb and Kenya let her know she ain’t want Roger Bobb’s ol’ whorish arse.  Wait…y’all hear that?  Oh you don’t hear nothing?  That’s the same thing Kenya and the audience said at that video release party when that ol’ mute video played.

I ain’t gon’ even talk about NeNe and them QVC fashions.  I saw Greg.  NeNe’s hair was a catastrophe.  Okay, I’m done with NeNe nem.

The highlight of the night was Apollo showing up at the video release party.  That thang wasn’t even invited and went, but Roger Bobb couldn’t show up?  Okay.  Apollo ran up on Phaedra..was talkin’ crazy..huggin’ her…tellin’ her he loved her while she ignored him, tried to shrug him off and just generally looked uncomfortable when he was huggin’ her.  I wasn’t mad at Phaedra.  I woulda been uncomfortable too if that thang was all on me all close like that.  Hayle, if he will steal a 401K from a stranger, he will damn sho’ steal his wife’s purse or sift through her pockets when she ain’t looking.  I woulda checked my person when he let go.  Hayle, all the ladies shoulda checked they purses and wallets.  Apollo was on countdown to lockdown.  He ain’t have nothin’ to lose.  Speaking of lockdown, ain’t Apollo on the longest countdown to prison EVA?  I’ve been thinking about writing him a letter, but because he is such a criminal, I would need a P.O. Box for the return address.  I wouldn’t want that felon knowin’ where I live.

Apollo did some good this week though.  He was givin’ Teresa Guidice tips on stayin’ alive and well in prison. Y’all know she on RHONJ.  I hollered when he said she should eat the prison food but go light on the starches.  In other words, she gon’ need to keep up her strength to fight for her prison virginity AND she gon’ need to watch her weight lest she blow up like Da Brat.  Y’all know y’all thought she was Lady of Rage on the Soul Train Music Awards.  That thang looked like somebody put a bicycle pump in her mouth and went “woosh, woosh, woosh”.  Lawd, I hope Da Brat nor none of her friends read this blog.  Y’all know she believe in hittin’ foke in the head with bottles and such.  I don’t fight grown men.

Follow me on Twitter @staylorclark

apollophae

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